Today, I found out my cat and my roommate's dog are apparently lesbians who are into what is basically bestiality to us humans. Despite both being female (and fixed), his dog tried to hump my cat, and my cat didn't resist at all. Trying to get his dog off my cat took way more effort than it should have. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML
Today, my roommate brought a kitten to the apartment. I hate cats, and probably sensing this, the thing clawed me right in the crotch. I of course am not going to say a thing because I happen to be in love with my roommate, but she has no clue how much I hate this thing. FML
Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML
Today, my extremely affectionate and docile cat, whom I love like a child and has never drawn blood, scratched my roommate of one day in the face while I was at work. She claims he just went ballistic, and I don't believe she's telling me everything. What the hell did she do to my cat? It's gonna be a long lease. FML
Today, I got a cat so I'd have some company, since my roommate is always with her boyfriend. Too bad the cat likes her more. So now I get to sit and listen to her talk to her boyfriend to get to cuddle with my kitty. FML
Today, I had my first threesome. It was me, my wonderful girlfriend, and her shithead cat after he decided my balls were a bag of catnip and just had to play with. Things ended pretty fast. FML
Today, I've been living with my new roommate's dogs for three days now. In an ironic twist, the small one is very well-behaved, while the two big ones are disobedient little shits. Every day, I get a thousand more reminders as to why I'm a cat person. I can't do this anymore. FML
Today, I'm gonna have to make the very difficult decision to ask my roommate to get rid of his dogs. They're not only the most disobedient little shits I've ever known, but they're also terrifying my cats. My oldest cat, who has always been pretty chill, quiet, and independent, is now vocal, clingy and nervous. FML
Today, I invited my very animal-phobic boyfriend over. I have a dog and a rabbit, who are always well behaved, so I insisted they wouldn't do him any harm. My dog peed all over his shoes and my rabbit furiously humped his leg and wouldn't let go. He's now even more terrified of animals. FML
Today, I found out why my girlfriend has been angry with me ever since I moved in with her. Apparently, she is pissed that I taught her cat how to play fetch and keep treating him like a dog. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Ubehage 32
It is just as much a social thing, as it is showing dominance. If your cat does not mind, then don't interfere. Let them have their social life.
smoochmysnoot 6
Let them do their thing. If they’re not hurting each other or anyone else, let them be.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (5)
Ubehage 32
It is just as much a social thing, as it is showing dominance. If your cat does not mind, then don't interfere. Let them have their social life.
idragosani 17
I've had cats that were totally gay. One minute they're wrassling around on the floor, the next minute they are licking each other's butts.
tiptoppc 21
I have two males. Both fixed, both brothers. I’ve watched one brother rape the other. I have two cats that aren’t brothers, one from the previous statement that constantly submits to another male which is his best friend. All this, with a female cat (fixed) in the house. None of them touch the female. So yeah, gay shenanigans all around.
smoochmysnoot 6
Let them do their thing. If they’re not hurting each other or anyone else, let them be.
BrizBurry 10
why did you watch 😂