Today, my boyfriend told me how he used to collect little things when he was younger. He then decided to tell me about his current big toe nail collection. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he had a "long nose hair" collection. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. He then showed me a tin of long-ass hairs. I gagged. FML
Today, less than a week after moving in together, I decided to clean out my husband's messy room. In the process, I found a jar containing what appears to be a toenail collection. I don't think I'll ever regain my appetite. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML
Today, I found one of my roommate's giant yellow toenail clippings on the counter next to the kitchen sink. When I confronted him about it, he told me the cat must have carried it out of his bedroom and put it there. FML
Today, at my annual checkup, the doc looks down at my foot and says, "Oh, you have an extra toenail. Six, huh?" Then sort of scraping at the side of my foot below the pinky toe, he pulls off a long piece of dead, dried skin and says, "Oh." FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, I confided to my boyfriend that I have a condition that causes me to grow thick toe hair. He now won't stop calling me "the sexy Hobbit." FML
Today, I went to get my nails done for the first time in a while. I don't like to go that much because two of my toes are connected, and I'm very self-conscious about it. The man painting my toes started laughing when he saw them and called all the other employees over to look. FML
Today, I watched my boyfriend pick all the dead skin off of his feet, and then fling it at me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
no_mames_vato 0
is that a collection of big toe nails or a large collection of toe nails?
Sun_Kissed18 25
Thats uhm... unique
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (47)
under_estimated 0
That is freakin' Nasty. Dump him
Lesbier 0
just because of a odd collection? everyone has something a little different. you must be picky.
boatkicker 5
Idk. I think I'd be a bit disturbed by someone collecting bits that used to be attached to the human body. I'm not much for collecting things that used to be attached to any sort of living body. It just feels creepy to me. Skeletons, big game that you've had stuffed, toe nails, hair..... it all creeps me out about the same.
bailo 0
this is not just an odd collection. these are toe nails. toe nails. imagine where he keeps them. what he does with them. does he look through them every now and then, admiring past nails? are they all just his, or does he gather other people's too? does he get excited every time he clips/picks his nails, because it'll be another addition? does he have ocd? who knows. i mean, he couldn't have picked something less disgusting?
pepolshet 0
And i'd dump you because you look like 70 old granny so what?
Sun_Kissed18 25
Thats uhm... unique
infantry831 0
and you think that's a fml. get a life and punch yourself
Malinkrot 3
if you don't like people complaining, why do you come onto a website about people complaining?
MiaKong 0
Most people I have noticed love complaining that people complain too much. It kind of entertains me.
Malinkrot 3
crunchy
JERKKMONKEY 0
ROFLL bahahhaahhha
no_mames_vato 0
is that a collection of big toe nails or a large collection of toe nails?
ugliy 0
that made me ROFL
Ada360 0
EWWWWWWW! gross but if u love him then u should love him for who he is. even if he's a big toe nail collector. lol
bombtastic 10
it could always be worse, you know. he could collect.. hm. boogers, sperm samples, hell, even toilet paper covered in poo. but that's still weird either way, haha.
BikerMike 0
check under his bed for a booger collection
SenGaeriel 3
Sick! Sick! Sick! And LOL@ #15's comments!