Today, my boyfriend and I were reminiscing and sharing funny stories of when we were little. It was then that he told me he used to be flexible enough to suck his own weiner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me and decided it'd be funny to blow raspberries in my crotch. He literally thought it was the funniest thing ever. FML
Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML
Today, when my boyfriend came to bed, I rolled over and watched as he used his pinky to clean out both nostrils, then eat it what he found. He’s almost 25. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me how he used to collect little things when he was younger. He then decided to tell me about his current big toe nail collection. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML
Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML
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Top comments
senor_octubre 24
Every mans dream. I mean uh....that sucks. I mean blows. I'll just go now.
firefox9778 20
Well that's some information you could've gone without. Who knows, maybe he was hinting at something?
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Comments (95)
GabbyPLluch88 13
he was just exaggerating on how flexible he used to be. let's not assume, poor guy
militarybrat 21
And? I dont get how this is a bad thing. But my husband purposely did it because i mentioned it would be hot.
nwwaverider 14
How is an FML seems more like an F his mouth.. But what do I know
gatorclay97 28
Annnnnnd?
dethouva 4
And thats a bad thing? The hell is wrong with you. Every man thinks about this. Just drop it and accept it as a part of human kind
Metallicality 5
Technically it would be considered masturbation right?
Odannyboy 21
Impressive
LevelupKid 8
Weiner? really?
OBUDDAYJOELPUTTY 12
At least he didn't get the balls in there too and die, like the guy on Clerks.
KrazyKatz333 15
How is that bad? I heard 1/200 can and 200/200 have tried