Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying, "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
Today, my boyfriend was laying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passion in his eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me that he loved me. Instead, he said, "You have a booger." FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
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Top comments
TheNewGuy03 29
damn, girl, brush yo teefs! |the kid|
mintcar 10
YDI for smelly breath. Although, he could've been a lot nicer about it.
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Comments (191)
towboater198425 6
everyone has shit breath when they wake up! love is just dealing with it so you can get some. unless it's really bad then you have bigger problems than standard bad breath go see the dentist stanky mouth!
Mistery510 6
that's funny HELL haha!!! nasty breath... sweet nothings your pathetic... get a new Bf
whippymcdumb4zs 0
y'all ever heard of morning breath?
cptmorgan15 2
Y'all ever heard of reading what it actually says rather than what you want it to say. Doesn't mention morning anywhere.
BAMF18 0
who said that? WHO THE **** SAID THAT!?
whippymcdumb4zs 0
sir, before you come to any conclusions about me having not read the post please take a second to think and realize that because they did not specify morning, noon, or night, I can say whatever the hell I want.
technicallyhuman 0
next time after you're done shooting the remake of two girls one cup brush your damn teeth
SuperNova69 0
maybe if u spent a little more time taking care of your teeth you wouldn't have the stench of a pissed on hobo coming from your mouth.
guestxxx 0
She might take really good care of her teeth. People can get something called crypt stones on their tonsils. It's basically a mixture of small food particles, bacteria and white blood cells clumped together in the pockets(crypts) on your tonsil. They can smell really bad and cause halitosis. Taking good care of your teeth won't get rid of them.
Cenobyte 10
Well, he could have been less crude, but at least you know that your breath is smelly. Now go fix it.
PassTheDutch 0
YDI. for not keeping your teeth clean, unless it you had morning breath then it's kinda of understandable. lol. but still gross.
gruvychild 17
I would've asked him if it was his own breath blowing back in his face!
FYLSLOWLY 0
Lmao!
edteach 0
lol