Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying, "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
Today, my boyfriend was laying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passion in his eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me that he loved me. Instead, he said, "You have a booger." FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
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Top comments
TheNewGuy03 29
damn, girl, brush yo teefs! |the kid|
mintcar 10
YDI for smelly breath. Although, he could've been a lot nicer about it.
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Comments (191)
sculp91 0
lmao hahahahahahaahaha
Tuesdays76 0
What color is your tooth brush? if you can't answer that right off the bat, then DAAM!
FMLsOhilarious 6
Don't worry, I'll get Tic Tac to make a huge donation to you.
RedPillSucks 33
He could have been less of an asshole about it. Try not to be too selfconcious, but you'll have to brush more often. You may have to scrape your tongue also.
DeathByVanilla 3
ydi, brush your teeth.
alex1432 9
I feel your pain op. I have stomach problems which causes me to have bad breath, but I brush and rinse with listerine like 5 times a day.
sykokitti 15
lmao! eww you're insides are rotten
heathersmorin 0
Next time you decide to give him a rim job, I would highly suggest brushing your teeth when your finished. If you don't have time or don't want to ruin the moment, then proceed to giving him a ******** to cover up the shit smell. I think semen may win over shit. Maybe the two just maybe be worse. Give it try!
kumakichi 0
lame!
sum1two 0
hahahaha. I'm totally going to use that line. anyways, sometimes people have bad breath and there is nothing they can do about it. sometimes it because you have a bad tooth OR it comes from the inside of you.
braveblade74 0
Baby needs a tic tac