Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, dropped a condom on the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!" FML
Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a good time. Perfect. Afterwards, he stupidly tried to pull the condom off with way too much force. It burst everywhere, splattering our faces, the bed sheets, and even the wall. Absolute disaster. We just stared at each other and laughed. Never again. FML
Today, my boyfriend drove me home. I mentioned how I had recently started my period and he freaked out, saying I would "leak" through my tampon onto his seat. He made me sit on towels all the way home. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked how I could go to the bathroom and leave my tampon in at the same time. He didn't realize there are two separate holes. He's 28. FML
Today, during my boyfriend's family reunion, I started my period but didn't have any tampons. I asked my boyfriend to ask his mom if she had any. I sat on the toilet waiting, then heard him loudly ask his whole family, "Does anybody have a tampon my girlfriend can have?" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
tsim14 4
I have some wierd feeling that that would work and no ones ever tried it before. Then again, I never passed the 10th grade so what would I know?
illmatic2 16
Common sense isn't a requirement for graduating high school.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (151)
H00ks 19
This will be a story you'll tell your future children one day.
ur2nvthis85 3
"Daddy tried to soak you up with a tampon" makes a child feel so wanted, I'm sure.
H00ks 19
Guess that's not your everyday fairytale, huh?
jetsown08 21
That must've broken the rhythm and soaked up all the enthusiasm there was.
gmaniac93 7
YDI for dating a moron
Ray_of_midnight 23
How did you end up dating this moron to begin with? FYL
183933 6
The ones who think this is a good idea wouldn't stick around to help raise "the kids" so naturally they don't see this as being a problem either way. Retards!
mosquito19 14
just imagine how stupid your future child will be with him
athos1237 4
It says much about your standards for BF material. Might be time to move on and choose wiser.
florido_fml 10
Also soak up any STD he could possibly have =D
pradip 26
Tampons are not very successful, i would prefer a vacuum cleaner to suck the kids.
dangousity 21
Awesome Obama at work