Today, I was having a really vivid dream in which I had to take a penalty kick to win the World Cup for the USA. I took the kick, but in reality, I smashed my foot against my bedroom wall and broke four of my toes. I also missed the kick in my dream. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a dream where I was fighting a robber who had broken into my house. I was throwing a lot of kicks in the dream, and this apparently resulted in me kicking my feet in real life as well. I figured this out when my cat started attacking my feet, abruptly waking me up at 2AM. FML
Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML
Today, I'm currently in hospital with a painful and swollen Achilles heel problem. I was dreaming I was running down stairs, then tripped on one, and as I whacked my foot on the stairs in my dream, I also raised my foot and whacked it on the end of the hospital bed. FML
Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML
Today, I was practicing soccer at my school. My team was practicing penalty kicks. It was my turn up and this cute girl that I like was watching off ten feet away from the goal. I was running to take the kick when I slipped and kicked the ball. It hit her head and now she won't talk to me. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML
Today, I had a soccer game. A player from the other team hit me in the face. In the next half, she was the goalie and I was determined to score on her. When I finally got my chance to, everyone cheered, until I kicked the ball into the goal post and it bounced back and hit me in the face. FML
Today, if anyone was wondering how my day was going, I woke myself up by kicking the wall. HARD. Pretty sure I broke my big toe. 10/10, TOE-tally TOE-rrific. FML
Today, I finally scored a goal in a soccer game. Too bad it was in our own net. FML
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Top comments
ant1078 7
Way to go Beckham
NoKittyMyPotPie 3
Interesting dream.
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Comments (134)
xxjoshuaxx21 4
first!!!
TheZee 12
Yes, you will be the 'first' one to be buried :)
NoKittyMyPotPie 3
Interesting dream.
Saryrr 3
At least he actually played in his dream, instead of sitting on the bench.
NoKittyMyPotPie 3
That's true.
Drigr 9
6, that's the real FML. "In the dream, I actually got to play." I feel OPs pain though.. I've kicked walls in my sleep before. I actually used to have a wobbly computer stand next to my bed til I kicked the monitor off it and it broke...
tehcyberman 9
It's one thing to fail in real life. But to fail in your dreams as well... FYL, dude.
nateborg13 9
GOALLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (announcers voice)
brill33 7
That's what usually happens when America takes penalty kicks
DKjazz 20
If he were sitting on the bench in his dreams, his toes would be fine.
cameronfellows 6
Serious FML
anythingmustbe 18
LOL thats assuming america make it to the world cup.
ant1078 7
Way to go Beckham
biggestfan23 11
Whenever someone talks about soccer, Beckham's name always comes up even though he is irrelevant nowadays in soccer
ant1078 7
I only thought of beckham because of his flopped penalty kick
biggestfan23 11
#23 true true
rattusrattus 19
Wonder if the OP broke his metatarsal?
Phanarena 11
David Beckham is from Britain, not the US...
ScaughtieHolden 11
What's up with all these ponies...
the_anti_hipster 7
Shut your mouth 22! Beckham is a gift from God above, sending we who are yet unworthy to bask in the glory of David Beckham's fabulous ass. And abs. Too bad Posh can't enjoy them, the poor robot.
Inheritance 10
70 is probably male gender who has the hots for Beckham :)
knaevery 17
And why does it matter if he is male and has the hots for beckham?
nado13579 12
66- Hm... No idea.
cheefer 0
Did you Bend it Like Beckham?
Keliosan 6
Insult to injury. Sorry OP FYL.
zandalee 20
That was an incredibly vivid dream! I suggest handcuffing yourself to the bed in future to avoid any more broken bones. Damn!
killdozer1 2
Better luck to your sports career in the future!
TriflingAllDay 6
Handcuffing yourself may only get you raped. Courtesy of the neighborhood friendly sex offender.
ajeppsen 25
How's he supposed to get out of bed
zandalee 20
Why would he want to? I love my bed. I wouldn't honestly mind.
onlychildFTW 34
Ahh sorry OP. I've had vivid dreams like that. Except mine evolve peeing in a toilet and then waking up wetting the bed. I think everyone ha had one of those in their lives at least once. I hope your tie heal fast OP. that really sucks you broke 4 of them. Might be time to get padded head and foot boards though!
blackwidowtaco 31
Crutches.
TrueTriage 16
Playing to much FIFA lately?
Kingbreezy04 10
#5-Right. That's a dream itself
TrueTriage 16
Maybe I should've specified the video game.
tehcyberman 9
don't worry 37. Most people knew what you were talking about.
kamikrazy 6
No, i quit FIFA. Damn EA servers keep kicking me out when I'm winning 3-0.
olpally 33
That's a pretty intense dream op! Damn! Is the wall okay?
MURIKKA 11
What I wanna know is how he kicked, broke toes, and still stayed in that dream long enough to see that he missed the shot. OP must sleep like a freaking log.
Udderboy 4
I hope your dream soccer skills are worse then your real life soccer skills!
vcapelo 19
Got to love football!
winnerme123 8
I love football just the other type.
KiddNYC1O 22
Fútbol*
dsbs 9
Football fútbol Tomato tomoto
crazzyclover 6
Fútbol
vcapelo 19
I'm talking about the European type where you actually use your feet all the time. And the European type is spelled football.
DJP0N3 0
Yeah the spanish Is futbol dumbasses The american one is just no, you barely use your feet And the USA could never get to the finals
LO388 7
At least you didn't miss it in real life. I'm pretty sure a broken foot is much less painful than what hardcore soccer fans would have done to you.
strawberrywine22 30
Ouch! Could have been worse though...I once dreamed I was a giant Easter bunny wearing boxing gloves and I punched my boyfriend in the face. I broke his nose and he wouldn't share a bed with me until it healed!
Speller211 2
Ow!
2tonekid 6
How is that worse? Causing pain to ones self should be viewed as worse than inflicting damage to someone else
MrArmy 1
Because some people actual care about others.
Dracoboxer357 36
84- I disagree. I'd rather hurt myself than inflict harm upon a loved one, or even a stranger, any day of the week.
can2012 0
Why would someone date a mutt like u in the first place
THE_A_TEEN 28
^Would have been a whole lot better if we knew who you were talking to.
Dracoboxer357 36
93- Wow, you're one shallow dick. At least she has the guts to put her picture up for people like you to judge her. :p Strawberry, ignore the troll. You look fine.
theBIGmack92 6
You've gained my respect Draco. That was very nice of you.
Judahsh 8
I was actually just thinking how pretty she is