Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, dropped a condom on the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!" FML
Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a good time. Perfect. Afterwards, he stupidly tried to pull the condom off with way too much force. It burst everywhere, splattering our faces, the bed sheets, and even the wall. Absolute disaster. We just stared at each other and laughed. Never again. FML
Today, my boyfriend drove me home. I mentioned how I had recently started my period and he freaked out, saying I would "leak" through my tampon onto his seat. He made me sit on towels all the way home. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked how I could go to the bathroom and leave my tampon in at the same time. He didn't realize there are two separate holes. He's 28. FML
Today, during my boyfriend's family reunion, I started my period but didn't have any tampons. I asked my boyfriend to ask his mom if she had any. I sat on the toilet waiting, then heard him loudly ask his whole family, "Does anybody have a tampon my girlfriend can have?" FML
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Top comments
tsim14 4
I have some wierd feeling that that would work and no ones ever tried it before. Then again, I never passed the 10th grade so what would I know?
illmatic2 16
Common sense isn't a requirement for graduating high school.
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Comments (151)
seanc722 2
It is a good idea... I feel it would at least get something. Better then nothing. That and take a epill :)
Hiphuray4peas 27
I cannot believe that some are seriously advocating for the tampon procedure. It's likely the result of abstinence only education and ignorance. Totally scary.
Sarah123321 4
Well? Did it work?
Obey_StudBoii 23
Lol he's LIKEABOSS!
emh86 14
My favorite FML to date! Was he saying it jokingly or seriously?
enigma575 2
This is actually hysterical partially because it didn't happen to me and partially because some people are now thinking about trying it
lmbachman 23
FYL, OP, but... You picked him. :)
asst4stic247 1
Congratulations on being pregnant!
RubberD 7
Probably would work to be honest but healthcare professionals wouldn't dare tell people this.
greeneye_fml 12
I guess you've conducted studies on the subject?
TabooSushi 24
... You really have no idea how tampons work, do you? Let's break it down: Tampons go into the same vaginal opening during a woman's period that a penis does while she is having sex. Penises tend to do a lot of inward and outward thrusting into that very opening during sex. Imagine there is already something up in that are when the penis starts its thrusting. Now do the mental math, if you can. Got it? Yes. The tampon would get shoved WAY up into the vaginal canal by the thrusting activity and most likely get stuck, which then most likely leads to an E.R visit to have it removed and telling everyone what a freaking dumbass you both are. Also, a tampon would not soak up the semen enough to prevent pregancy. Just use a condom, people, geez.
equin0xx 6
And the reason "they wouldn't dare" is for fear of losing their license for giving not only false but completely idiotic advice. Sperm are microscopic and can swim past a tampon and furthermore, you've got to be some kind of bumbling moron to actually attempt intercourse with a tampon in. Think about it (if you're able to) would you have sex if you already had a ***** in there? No? Same concept with a tampon.
RubberD 7
Who said the tampon had to be IN? Nope I/OP meant afterwards :)
souljacker 11
Pay attention, TabooSushi, When soaking up kids the tampon is inserted AFTER sex.
RubberD 7
Exactly :)
equin0xx 6
*facepalm* Oh please excuse my ignorance, I forgot sperm are attracted to tampons and will swim back from the fallopian tubes towards them.
suckmysarcasm 10
Said by the 17 year old on the internet who will probably try this and be putting up her own fml soon lol.
needsagf14 12
Public school