Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Hilarious
Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
Pregnancy woes
Today, I think my unborn child has developed a sense of humour. The little cherub is usually very calm, but must have realised that if he/she kicks me hard enough in this particular place near my bladder, I'll piss myself on the spot like a race horse. It's happened twice now. FML
Crack wars
Today, after asking my hubby for what seems the millionth time to stop shoving his finger into my bum crack, I thought it would be funny to give him a taste of his own medicine by doing it to him. Right as my finger was in his crack, he let loose a huge fart. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me by maniacally zooming in and out of traffic while we were on his motorcycle. His mood turned to anger when I nervously admitted to having voided my bowels. FML
Today, I found out the guys I live with have an ongoing contest to see if they can hit targets on the inside of the toilet lid with urine when they pee. I could forgive this in my seven-year-old son, but not my forty-year-old husband. FML
Today, and for the past 38 weeks of my pregnancy, my husband decided to amuse himself by following me around, making whale noises. FML
Get up!
Today, I'm 8 months pregnant and I went to pee at 2 a.m., with the light off to avoid waking my husband. The wanker had left the seat up, so I fell right into the bowl and got stuck with my cheeks in the water because my belly wouldn’t let me get up. My useless sleeping husband couldn’t hear me yell for help. FML
Letting yourself go
Today, my husband is becoming more uncivilised the older he gets, as I had to remind him to put trousers on while we have guests in the house, and over dinner he was picking his belly button at the table. FML
Do ya think I'm sexy?
Today, my husband called me to our bedroom, saying he needed help with something. I found him sitting on the bed with his pants down, so I smiled and asked if he was angling for sex, which was fine with me. Nope. He needed me to pop a pimple under his ballsack. FML
Relationship goals
Today, my husband missed the toilet again. I would have been less disgusted if he'd peed this time. FML
Top comments
flockz 20
he's seen too many Pillsbury Doughboy commercials.
Someone648 10
Well... Urine for a horrible time....
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Comments (125)
flockz 20
he's seen too many Pillsbury Doughboy commercials.
bestnameright 14
What? Can someone explain this comment?
flockz 20
well, in pillsbury doughboy commercials, the doughboy always gets tickled in the bellybutton at the end, usually when the family is enjoying a bowl of rolls he just made. he doesn't pee himself necessarily, but when i hear someone getting tickled in the bellybutton, i remember those commercials, therefore my comment. if you have no idea who i'm talking about, then you don't know what a cinnamon roll is.
gc327072 31
17- The pilsbury doughboy always gets tickled in those old commercials, usually in the belly button area, and sort of giggles. Flockz is humorously conjecturing that OP's husband tried to tickle her like the doughboy, thus this happened. Edit: well, ****.
bestnameright 14
Ok thanks guys :)
SirCharles83 13
17- it's OPee.
TotallyAradical 14
I'm so tickled!
Lindahhxd 7
I'm sorry, I hope you can find his vulnerable spot and do the same!
jetsown08 21
41- what, 2 is going to find OPs husband and tickle him? Oh wait, you're a thread-jacking asshole, never mind...
tehcyberman 9
49- Harsh... But necessary. Thank you, Jetsown. You may not be the hero threadjackers want, but your the hero they need... Thread-Man.
DynamicDave 11
I'd be pissed. Give him the finger.
sens3sfailing 25
69-you didn't read the comments in the thread you jacked did you?
mario2012 18
Wow, he's real mature.
iOceanus 18
What's wrong with playing with and teasing your lover?
zingline89 18
Call me crazy but I think a line can be drawn when the teasing causes incontinence.
kobelstone23 13
Queer
Bibliovore 26
#23 -- If your lover enjoys it, great. If your lover wants you to stop, and yet you continue, there's a whole heckuva lot wrong with it.
t_fml 11
Expect to pee 5-10 times a day
sacrosanct2 23
Have fun with that.
onlychildFTW 34
OP needs to wear a Kevlar vest or diapers.
OldMemoriesFade 8
Best punishment, just refuse sex from now on, see how he likes it.
bestnameright 14
No that's a bad punishment.
coducks 5
Hate when people say this. Most women enjoy sex just as much as men, they just might not want it as much. That punishment for both people.
OldMemoriesFade 8
Hey now, I'd prefer no sex over myself pissing everywhere, even if I was comfortable with said person, it would still be awkward to have piss everywhere.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
18- Some people are into that ;) LOL
cristy91 33
You say "best punishment" though. A better punishment would be to try to piss on his shoes or something every time he does it. Stopping sex is not a nice thing to really do and, as said above, it's really a punishment for both.
OldMemoriesFade 8
Pissing on his shoes, is really just ignorant and rude, that's just being as immature as him. Again just my opinion.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
28- Is OP a dog? Or is it normal to piss on people's shoes when they do something you don't like?
X_Codes 11
@30 - That may be true, but it would offer this couple the opportunity to grow up together. In any case, if your husband doesn't respect your desire to not piss yourself, then there really are deeper problems with the relationship going on here.
SirCharles83 13
Sex should not be a punishment, or a bargaining chip in a relationship. Ever.
BubbleGrunge 18
I'm sorry but all you little girls make me laugh! Trust me, a better punishment WOULD be to piss on his shoe; if not have fun denying yourself pleasure. Woman shouldn't use sex a punishment, THAT is immature!
kobelstone23 13
Quit pretending to know what your talking about, youngun.
writergirl23 19
I agree 67. As for 30, and withholding sex isn't even more immature? I make a point never to do that or put my husband on the couch even when I almost wanna kill him figuratively, because I love him and I know that it's just selfish to do that. However, he'd just laugh if I peed on his shoes.
fenixtorador1 11
Worst. Idea. Ever. Why would you even say that?
Iniezian 18
Personally, I don't ever understand how you girls can withhold sex, sometimes indefinitely, and still expect us to remain faithful. Ever wonder why more men than women cheat? Here's one answer.
NYC_Yoshi 3
5 - you're 15. What do you know about correctly handling a mature relationship? Any woman that uses sex to control her guy is asking for a poor relationship.
xknightlightx 2
Stopping sex is really bad... It can start a negative cycle of lack of sexual trust or some other negative cycle. However, the guy sure has to be a moron/asshole to be so abusive. I Suggest screaming at the husband and letting him know that he should wake the hell up and stop trying to think of it so lightly whenin fact, it must hurt and sadden the woman. So ask him "do you like hurting me? Cuz that that's what you're doing" something like that ..
enphinitie 20
I wouldn't say it's a good punishment but if someone purposely made me pee myself multiple times, I wouldn't want to have sex with them anytime soon anyways. I'd either be too grossed out or just mad in general, but that's just me..
tsim14 4
I'm split on this, that's pretty damn funny...
TourettesGuyFTW 26
It is funny. It would be even funnier if you wrap your legs around him whenever he does it.
lilhellian 27
how are you split? I do not see this as a "YDI" in any way.
cgchamp89 7
And yell, "Be my baby's daddy!"?
TalkCrazy47 7
Bringing back the classics
OldMemoriesFade 8
That was honestly the best FML,
gc327072 31
57- it really was. Such a perfect and beautiful YDI moment.
CaitlynLovesLife 11
how mature.
daliagrande 17
Find a way to annoy him.
connerwonner 7
An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.
twitchywaffles 26
Ghandi
BananerzFresh 12
Time for you to invent a new game for him.
thentaniasaid 20
Pee all over his stuff.