Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, dropped a condom on the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!" FML
Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a good time. Perfect. Afterwards, he stupidly tried to pull the condom off with way too much force. It burst everywhere, splattering our faces, the bed sheets, and even the wall. Absolute disaster. We just stared at each other and laughed. Never again. FML
Today, my boyfriend drove me home. I mentioned how I had recently started my period and he freaked out, saying I would "leak" through my tampon onto his seat. He made me sit on towels all the way home. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked how I could go to the bathroom and leave my tampon in at the same time. He didn't realize there are two separate holes. He's 28. FML
Today, during my boyfriend's family reunion, I started my period but didn't have any tampons. I asked my boyfriend to ask his mom if she had any. I sat on the toilet waiting, then heard him loudly ask his whole family, "Does anybody have a tampon my girlfriend can have?" FML
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Top comments
tsim14 4
I have some wierd feeling that that would work and no ones ever tried it before. Then again, I never passed the 10th grade so what would I know?
illmatic2 16
Common sense isn't a requirement for graduating high school.
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Comments (151)
m_2_teh_c 6
Some people should really think before they just randomly put whatever is on their mind on here because your theories are not logical. Thank you. :)
zebrastripez13 0
Hahaha omg that's totally awkward..
AloysiusWeasley 15
No, the real question is, why are you f$%^&*(# something that stupid? You're giving it a possible chance to breed! D:
ShitJustG0TReal 5
Sounds like a joke.. Was he serious?
Toramichelle 4
I don't want to live on this planet any more
thedon6191 15
The thought process behind this is fairly sound and the boyfriend is not an idiot for suggesting it. Obviously it wouldn't be smart to use such a method as your standard form of birth control but in an emergency situation, it is at least worth a try. For all of you who have been saying that it is stupid to try to soak up the sperm to prevent pregnancy it will come as a shock to you that there is a form of birth control that does that same exact thing and has been proven to be over 90% effective. Granted that it is inserted prior to intercourse and contains spermicide that stops the sperm cells from moving, its along the same thought process of soaking up the sperm cells. While I agree that using a tampon to soak of the sperm won't work, the idea isn't stupid and does not make the boyfriend an idiot and is definitely worth trying to prevent an unwanted pregnancy after the failure of the primary form of birth control.
TheMystery13 13
Sorry, but that's ******' funny. "Soak up the kids"...that's GREAT!
littlexlune 16
What an idiot. Everyone knows all you have to do is jump up and down afterward. ;)
BagelTheOtaku 25
that could possibly work actually.
mollypop35 28
That's ineffective, if the semen reaches the inside wall of the ******, there is a very high chance of pregnancy.