Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, dropped a condom on the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!" FML
Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a good time. Perfect. Afterwards, he stupidly tried to pull the condom off with way too much force. It burst everywhere, splattering our faces, the bed sheets, and even the wall. Absolute disaster. We just stared at each other and laughed. Never again. FML
Today, my boyfriend drove me home. I mentioned how I had recently started my period and he freaked out, saying I would "leak" through my tampon onto his seat. He made me sit on towels all the way home. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked how I could go to the bathroom and leave my tampon in at the same time. He didn't realize there are two separate holes. He's 28. FML
Today, during my boyfriend's family reunion, I started my period but didn't have any tampons. I asked my boyfriend to ask his mom if she had any. I sat on the toilet waiting, then heard him loudly ask his whole family, "Does anybody have a tampon my girlfriend can have?" FML
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Top comments
tsim14 4
I have some wierd feeling that that would work and no ones ever tried it before. Then again, I never passed the 10th grade so what would I know?
illmatic2 16
Common sense isn't a requirement for graduating high school.
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Comments (151)
panda_lou 11
Well if you think about it in theory it would work. Sometimes when it's that time of the month you can get like globs and tampons soak those up pretty well so I don't see how it would at least soak up some "kids." Though you wouldn't be able to leave it in. . . Screw go get some plan b and call it a day. Next time avoid whatever caused the condom to break.
DjeePee 25
If you don't want to get pregnant, you don't want to soak up some kids, you want to catch them all.
majorjeneral 0
This has now become a Pokemon discussion.
ur2nvthis85 3
So avoid sex...? Abstinence: the only guaranteed solution. Not a very "fun" one but consider it with this guy and the others questioning the effectiveness of tampons.
equin0xx 6
All the blood was in his other head.
Xxlaurahatakexx 9
Time for a new boyfriend. His right to reproduce needs confiscated. You can't fix stupid... Sorry. That wasn't mean to sounds as harsh as it was. Just educate him, or he'll get annoying pretty fast. You don't want to waste time when it comes to relationships. You need mental capability comparability.
honestjane 22
Nope, you can't fix stupid. But it is possible to numb it with a 2x4. Or a hammer. Which ever happens to be at hand.
spazz666 18
The ironic part of you calling someone stupid is that your comment is riddled with grammatical errors. If everyone dumped their boyfriend or girlfriend just for saying one ignorant thing, the world would never have successful relationships. Maybe she should just teach him how fertilization works. That might do something to "fix" his stupid.
Dsant24 0
That's a clear indication that he got his "GED" Good Enough Diploma!
cece_miless 8
Haha. That's hilarious
AJE98 5
Well last time I checked they didn't teach this at school.
tressie_fml 6
It could work, but no one has ever tried it?
OfficeNinja 5
Your the one having sex with him. You did not notice he is an idiot before taking off your pants?
drkrissy1331 12
Wow_ not so sure you want to spread those genetics.
love_me_electric 20
Everyone who's saying this could work is just as stupid as OP's bf. It can take less than a minute for the sperm to travel from the ****** into the uterus. If the condom breaks you need something that will either kill ALL the sperm in the woman's body or prevent the zygote from attaching to the wall of the uterus. The only things I can think of that will do this is Plan B or an IUD (and most doctors won't give you an IUD on short notice)
PyroAngel1821 13
And both could just not work. It's not 100%
happle 21
Plan B makes you shed you uterine lining, so you wouldn't have the zygote anymore.