Today, I found out that my gorgeous, smart, perfect new boyfriend has an unusual fetish. It doesn't involve me at all actually. Just a Labrador. This is probably a deal breaker. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we do anything together. FML
Today, my funny, handsome, intelligent, caring, all around awesome boyfriend and I broke up. He introduced me to his fetish and wanted me to participate. His fetish? Dressing, talking, and acting like a baby. He wanted us to both wear diapers and pretend to be babies together. Fuck that noise. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted the reason he was dating me was because he has a fetish for grandmothers and apparently I look, smell, and act like one. FML
Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend only dates me because I look a bit like his favourite porn star. FML
Today, I found out that my new boyfriend is a "Men's Rights Activist". FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend's dog is more excited to see me than he is. FML
Today, I found out that the love of my life had been pleasuring himself to pictures of my ex-boyfriends. Yes, he's bisexual. He says it's ok because I'm dating him now. Great. FML
Today, when my new boyfriend told me he had a thigh fetish, I thought it was cute, until I realised our sex life would mostly be him fawning all over my legs, then dry humping my knees. We’ve been together 3 months and I can count the number of actual shags I’ve had on one hand. FML
Today, my boyfriend learned about my filthy fetishes in the worst way possible. He found me naked in the bathroom, licking the dirty toilet seat. I couldn't even make an excuse. FML
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Top comments
Mikeskinner 7
Looks like you're... Barking up the wrong tree.
acerima 11
Screw the puns, that is just sick.
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Comments (165)
Mikeskinner 7
Looks like you're... Barking up the wrong tree.
caplox 6
ha...hahh..hahah...hahaha hahah ahh
Jiplo 18
AWWWWW YEEEEEAAAAAHHHH
Pleonasm 36
It also involves taking a big Shih Tzu so that OP can Go and Retrieve'er, and maybe later he'll **** her Spaniel.
Mikeskinner 7
Ah, your puns make me happier than a dog in bone heaven.
Pleonasm 36
He'll be giving her dog a bone, later. Frankly I find it appawling, but it's a dog eat dog world out there. (**** can't believe I just came up with this.)
lambda_fml 40
Bet he likes to do it Doggy Style ;-)
hellbilly205 17
Probably a deal breaker?
gc327072 31
70- I'll bet she gives him a bone. But what brand does he like best?
Catkam623 27
Blow bye
Dusty_Busters 15
I pictured you doing the sunglasses thing that dude in CSI Miami does
edreice 1
Call me crazy... This is SOOO funny!
WhitneyShehan 10
That's a Scooby Dooby Don't. FYL Op.
VannahJane 17
Life's a bitch.
TheBrochure 22
Or so OP's boyfriend wishes.
jcrb 11
pun intended
kristabelli 19
"Probably" a deal breaker???? Really???
Success4444 12
Did you find out while Snoopying around?
Bakarra 22
I wonder what she thought she was gonna FIDOut by snooping around in his business
IscoreOnU 19
Did you learn about it on Skype?
thelastavailable 13
Dress up time!
vertigoisarat 8
It sounds like he is going to be in the dog house.
A7XCamaro 19
Sounds like that's where he wants to be.
ohSNAPyall 27
No way, 9. He thought shed lap it up.
upallnight11 19
I guess he isn't perfect after all.
lilhellian 27
True love blinds one of ones flaws.. So perfection is in the eye of the beholder. So to that one special person or animal he is perfect..
TheManager 6
Admit it 18, you're his lover on the side.
finnrambo 13
42-noooooo really?
Catkam623 27
Didn't you know she has a love child with squeaky. Cough cough chipmunk fetish.
lilhellian 27
I'm curious as to when my balls were replaced with female sex organs @87 0.o
Catkam623 27
Aww shit, I read squeakers profile and heard about your pomachip love child, then assumed you were female. My fault.
Cbizzlez 10
He's just a man that loves his bitch, what is so wrong with that?
Epikouros 32
But we don't know whether he wants to do it with a female dog...
CaptTeemo 10
So is he still perfect in your eyes?
Bakarra 22
Stop taunting me!
CaptTeemo 10
110, he's talking about my profile. Teemo is part of a game that we play and is known as a "global taunt". But that's his problem
acerima 11
Screw the puns, that is just sick.
thosedogtags 8
Hooah?!(:
acerima 11
Germany broke all my hooah
thosedogtags 8
What a shame.. I'm sorry! Good beer at least?? :s
acerima 11
This is a fact.
perdix 31
#10, was that a typo? Did you mean to write "pugs?" That's really sick!!!
acerima 11
Weak attempt to continue the gag
skullofdarkness 18
Screw screwing puns, let the man screw his dog.
thosedogtags 8
If it is what I think it is.. Then that's disgusting. I'm sorry, you'll find a guy one day who likes the normal "hair pulling, sweaty, back scratching kind of sex." Don't you worry! (: