Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML
Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML
Today, as I got out of the shower, my young stepson saw me naked. Later, he asked his mom why my "pee pee" is so small when everyone says it is supposed to get bigger when you become an adult. FML
Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML
Today, I figured out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl, and rub the water on her face. So I put the water bowl out of reach. She then figured out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
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Top comments
potatocouch 16
Hey, at least your child thinks it's long enough to be considered a "tail".
NoThanks999 19
Tell her only mommy can see the tail ;)
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Comments (49)
Kieranr10 23
Well that's not good
Arkham_Callabero 15
obvious statement is obvious
bbychii 20
no shit sherlock
itsfreakingtacos 11
**** off Watson
drpepperking10 18
Ding
DLBL 23
How is this comment hidden for rule breaking? "Well, that's not good." Whose feeling were hurt?
limitles 14
Don't sweat it. My daughter caught the same sight once when she was 15-16 months. She pointed and said "papa's tail". It lasted a few weeks when she would mention it, but she soon forgot all about it :)
kakarot26 7
big difference in a 15 month old and a 3 year old
mfmylifesrsly 30
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I found out about sex when I was 3 (my older sister told me even though my mom told her not to). I said the word penis multiple times a day, but as soon as my dad came home I zipped up my lips. It lasted about 2 weeks. OP I suggest having your wife have a talk with her about males and females
VanillaButterfly 14
I read that as 15-16 years and was extremely bothered for a second lol
xXAllie2017Xx 14
She's 3! Not a teenager!
potatocouch 16
Hey, at least your child thinks it's long enough to be considered a "tail".
Welshite 40
"And that, Lucy, is what we call a bob tail."
Tripartita 45
Perhaps it's just furry and comes to a point.
tantanpanda 26
At least tell the daughter to say she saw a long tail. There's a bright side to everything... kinda.
MikaykayUnicorn 36
My dog has a teeny tiny nub for a tail, so small you wouldn't really consider it a tail, but little kids always comment on his tail. It doesn't have to be long to be a tail to kids.
superjewguy 19
oh come on, that's adorable
NoThanks999 19
Tell her only mommy can see the tail ;)
Angreal 14
Little kids don't see their parents naked anymore? Seems a perfectly normal thing to happen in family life / changing rooms etc?
Mathalamus 25
Since when was it considered normal?
Tripartita 45
Yeah, it really sucks, #6. Wait…
LadyIrene 21
I'd be very uncomfortable changing in front of my family
amsterdamgirl 20
#6 it is normal here, we don't have such taboos on the bodies so it's normal. you'll see people changing next to the pools and seaside etc. nothing gross or overt, but also not shameful and secret.
amsterdamgirl 20
also little children/babies often shower with their parents probably you too
Sir_Cow 17
#15, as a 3-year-old?
mfmylifesrsly 30
I took showers with my mom a lot when I was younger.
riahlum 12
"Little kids"
OkitaCockroach 19
Yeah, my first thought was about how come she doesn't know it's simply her dads private parts? I understand that it can be confusing for them, since they're different, but even my little girl understands that everyone has private parts.
tessas 7
Well, it was normal in my day for kids to see their parents naked until the kid reached a certain age, like maybe around 6 years old?
mattyiscool123 26
Lots of Americans are very self-conscious and think its homophobic, weird, or gross. At least until they're 50, when it's actually gross
honestjane 22
Why not just explain that you don't have a tail and that boys and girls are different? You don't have to go into the same detail as you would an older child. I always figured that if my kids were old enough to ask a question, then they were old enough for an age appropriate response. It helps if you have pets or know someone who does just to point out that girls and boys have different bits.
TheSignOfLibra 11
I wish my parents actually explained the difference when I was younger instead of handing me a book on the topic of the human reproductive system at the age of 12. It might've been less horrifying.
iiTzNeeNerz 26
I wish more parents would think like this and use the situation as an educational moment instead of making it taboo.
NovaBlue16 4
My parents didn't even do that. I learned all that stuff from school
joshszz_fml 27
My family didn't explain anything too. What's worse was back then, my school teacher (being bashful about the subject) tended to skip through multiple pages for us to read by ourselves. For years, I thought a woman's period lasted 3 to 4 hours each time, and I was too afraid to ask how they plugged it up before being bled dry.
TheGamingGamer 28
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Just tell her she came from that "tail".
brownapple 22
^ you okay, son?
thinkaboutit5 17
At least she didn't ask why the tail is in front.
oathkeeper99 31
Aww how cute, I thought a similar thing when I was little and thought they were like backwards tails. Bless her.