Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML
Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML
Today, as I got out of the shower, my young stepson saw me naked. Later, he asked his mom why my "pee pee" is so small when everyone says it is supposed to get bigger when you become an adult. FML
Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML
Today, I figured out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl, and rub the water on her face. So I put the water bowl out of reach. She then figured out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
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Top comments
potatocouch 16
Hey, at least your child thinks it's long enough to be considered a "tail".
NoThanks999 19
Tell her only mommy can see the tail ;)
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Comments (49)
Kicks23142 5
this could have ended a lot worse my friend
thequeenofkings 1
Outragous! How dare you be a naked man with a penis?! - sarcasm can occur. Honestly I dont get it. Are you a pedophile? No? I used to shower with my dad all the time as a kid. That "tail" is a natural thing, and you should not worry about her seeing it. Equality for the genders, please! It is healthy for children to know that man and woman is physiologically different, and the penis does need to be associated with something sexual ? Dont worry! This wont damage her in any way.
robthegray 3
this is why doors have locks OP
uchihastephy88 25
Lol :) the innocence of a child is so sweet. As unfortunate as that is, it's also adorable.
abylaunch 10
It's okay, my son once walked into the bathroom while I was changing my pad and now he tells everyone that I wear diapers.
zetaPRIME 1
Get a clip-on monkey tail and pretend to be a Saiyan next time you're at her school.
Bloden 1
Can't get the image of a hot, fit man getting out of the shower with a 7-inch dick now... Thanks OP!
carriejj 8
Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful.
AmbrosiaFan 19
LMAO... Kids!