Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML
Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML
Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "…and she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML
Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML
Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
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Top comments
cartez2gs 3
ahahahhahaa. pwned by your child. shave your furry beaver. lol
collegegirl87 0
omg just because her child says it was a beard does not mean she has a jungle. children don't have any hair so of course they are going to be surprised. FYL and you don't need to shave
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Comments (173)
cartez2gs 3
ahahahhahaa. pwned by your child. shave your furry beaver. lol
JuliaM1000 10
ROFL. I almost peepeed laughing!!!
StunnerSarah 0
childzz say the funniest things. >:] ydi for now shaving your beard.
marinus_fml 20
atleast your daughter entertained everyone else in the restroom.
remy3106 10
haha ^
43bubba34 25
ydi. you don't have to shave it, at least trim it. Damn!
Professorx2z 0
win
lajaynay 15
shave that muff!!
legonut4 0
you are very hairy down there as even your four year old daughter knows it.
xSummerRosaleex 1
Damn, OP. Cut down that jungle. :)
Jessi2487 0
awww thts kinda cute OP... i hope tht doesnt sound wrong lol
Mumbellosity711 0
lmfao. this is wicked funny
hnz 13
seems like 4 year old kids love to say the funniest and honest opinion just like the lion comment
vladmirk 0
Shave already you hairy bitch.
collegegirl87 0
omg just because her child says it was a beard does not mean she has a jungle. children don't have any hair so of course they are going to be surprised. FYL and you don't need to shave
mona_is_here 10
That's why brazilian waxing is the bestttt.
soldierz 0
StunnerSarah is prettyy stunning
Palmless 0
I don't favorite FML's.... But this is an exception. LMFAO.
UnderageDrinker1 0
I think your beautiful. just saying. and if you look at my picture I'm the one with the sun glasses.
coolsteve 0
YDI for not trimming or shaving it, nobody likes a jungle bush with dried semen, discharge and pee.
rebbee 0
YDI for having a hairy vag. Ever heard of waxing?
Kookish 2
any hair down there would surprise a kid and look like a beard to them. it in no way means that it isn't trimmed or anything.
InfiltratedMind 0
your response: because it isnt a peepee its a hungry bear and if you don't shut up it will eat you(rawr) and then RAM her head up your vag.
imaginaryvoice 18
Lmao, 84. That sounds like something I would say.
sugarbaby79 0
Hair vags keep you warm && cozy in the winter. Bahaha. JK shave your hotpocket ;D
comedychick 1
ahaha exposed!! kids these days lmao
mattman1994 0
See that is when you flush your kid down the toilet
mrbiffle 0
then trim that shit as low as possible nobodywants s mouth full of hai
the_flirtt 0
lol atleast trim and wouldn't that hurt 62 ?
BahahahLOL 0
I was the perv in the stall next to yours
mona_is_here 10
114, that hurts only for the few first times, then you get used to it and I even fell asleep during the procedure once lol
the_flirtt 0
haha dam u mam have my respect
Stupified 0
Why don't women use an electric razor, you can't cut yourself and it get down reall thin quick and painlessly
remy3106 10
I'm gonna try an electric razor haha I just use a regular disposable one....
Hayman68 4
commenting on comment to b near top can i c that beard?
rogerover 19
electric razors can't do as good a job as the blade. it gives a cleaner result. no nubs!
mona_is_here 10
127, :D well, beauty is pain anyway but I rather stand unpleasant feelings than be a hairy mess :D
SinShady 0
Maybe Chris Tucker should shave it for you
the_flirtt 0
135 some girls have a little line and it's not that bad
hannah1203 2
In the jungle, the mighty jungle...
mona_is_here 10
140, like in adult movies?:D
the_flirtt 0
no from experience ;) lol
jodope1 0
haha thats funny yet embarrasing.... im not going to say anything but that.........................
melliemoo17 6
^ agreed
remy3106 10
152 is hot
rebekahah 7
#55 agreed.
soccerguy77 0
#168 is so sexy.
lovesuckz123 0
Lol x) what cute kid! shave! :)
afdude87 6
so ****** classic. some kids are so awesome.
diet_otaku 0
they didn't laugh because she's too hairy, they laughed because that was a funny way for a child to phrase what she saw.
wafflez333 0
YDI for not shaving good God thats filthy!!!
mshoes12346 3
haha its beard not beaver
swalch43 0
hahahahahahahahahahahahahah
klaralynn 17
me too!
MrSexToy 0
parenting 101?
heynow00wellthen 0
hehe, that's funny. ^^ at least everyone else got a laugh =)
heynow00wellthen 0
..me?
frogydays 0
omg! that's ******* great!
MonkeyBusiness_fml 3
213 where is my money?
kmow32 0
op u don't necessarily need to shave it all, it's all the opinion of ur hubby ( well and u of course), if he likes it, then who cares bout all these ppl telling you ur a hairy b----,, it just makes them look stupid. and if u really wanted to, just kick the kid out of the stall and then do ur stuff lol ;)
ragtime88 0
141,I hope you know you just made my day :)
MissXxBipolarXx 0
Win! Total win! :D
nerdychick411 0
haha lol
gkings18 1
holy shit your skinny haha! take some protein
Shaebug12 0
what dies YDI mean???
LOLSMILEYFACE331 0
You Deserve It.
yennie 2
nom nom
cherryllollo 7
@cart do u need some peaches to go with that cottage cheese
neongurl98 10
ewww, no need to take it that far!!
dramaqueen0704 0
Ydi means you deserved it
selenagomezlover 8
You deserved it :)
GuErItA 0
first!:)
nyc718 0
lol the moderators don't moderate failures
FMLandurstoo 9
didi is a mod
MiSTERmAttt 0
haha that is halarious I donzt care about spell I'm on my iPod
slatter 1
I'm on an iPod and my spelling is fine? it should be easier as it autocorrects...
gabby301 1
who gives an f if it's spelled wrong. I sure as hell don't give a ****.
Brittney_E 0
What's so hard about deleting a Z? I'm on my ipod....
Loofah_fml 1
He also spelled hilarious wrong.
MiSTERmAttt 0
I know rite
Kazze 31
Go and count the number of sprinkles on a Pop Tart, divide by 10, and you have (what I'm guessing) is a number close to your IQ. Either you're illiterate, or just extremely lazy... Better yet, it's probably both.
zackkmann21 0
HAHAHAHAHAHA
GreenBud_fml 0
umm.. beard on your peepee? what kind of mother are you?
NeroKR13 0
"when you've see one beaver you've seen them all.." xD shaaaavvee lol
remy3106 10
haha it's call shaving or waxing!!
zooauthor7 0
lol u look stonedd
tanjoodo 3
And you look weird...Oh wait, That's a dog... (no offense intended)
remy3106 10
I don't do drugs. lol
lolfood 24
"look"
Vehicle 1
LOL
GuErItA 0
second actually but good enough for now:P and yea. waxing ppl. eww
Infamous_Hawk 6
fail at second
ballwiz23 0
scroll up
you_failed 15
Oh woooow!!!! xD That must have been embarrassing!! Kids say the darnest things :D
DivineGarden 0
your kid - win