Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML
Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML
Today, as I got out of the shower, my young stepson saw me naked. Later, he asked his mom why my "pee pee" is so small when everyone says it is supposed to get bigger when you become an adult. FML
Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML
Today, I figured out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl, and rub the water on her face. So I put the water bowl out of reach. She then figured out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
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Top comments
potatocouch 16
Hey, at least your child thinks it's long enough to be considered a "tail".
NoThanks999 19
Tell her only mommy can see the tail ;)
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Comments (49)
TheSignOfLibra 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Could have been worse. I grew up with no brothers or pets so I never learned about the 'tail'. I guess she didn't either. I hope she doesn't remember this though. It'll be hard to explain when she's older if she remembered this.
Dale_shackleford 13
No it won't, when she's older this will just be a funny ember adding story from when she was little
PePziNL 20
Your first time must've been very awkward.
vikky538 29
Lmao.. This FML made me laugh too hard
Momperella 5
That's hilarious! ?
murph_fml 21
My daughter used to tell everyone that "Daddy's pooping". She would point and say "Look, it's poop! It's poop!"
Aniki_Sohma 20
I did the SAME thing and my mother never lets it go. Every time you want to embarrass her in front of anyone ever, just mention that story. Works from ages 13 to... I don't know, it's still embarrassing and I'm 20.
Knoro 6
Why wouldn't you let your child see you naked? It's totally normal.
amsterdamgirl 20
that's so freakin' adorable!!!!
sturschaedel 27
My kids were much younger when they knew what the difference between boy and girl is, how the parts are called and how to properly clean their own set. They were about that age when they learned the basics about how those parts are used when they are adults and fall in love with a person, and that it is OK to play with said parts when nobody else is watching, and that only they themselves are allowed to touch them. I've read plenty studies (my friend is a psychologist and provides me with a lot of material), that kids are the least likely to suffer abuse if they are (age appropriately) told about sex.
mh_2323 13
3 seems a little young to learn about sex. I understand teaching them about private parts, how boys and girls have different part, how to clean them, etc. But I think the sex talk should wait a couple year.
Ashael 5
The sex talk should come up when they ask how babies are made.
latsyrk 3
Be happy she isn't using the word "little" to describe it :D Don't sweat it OP, she'll find something else interesting and your tail will be a thing of the past.
comrade850 9
Lucky bastard ?