Today, as I got out of the shower, my young stepson saw me naked. Later, he asked his mom why my "pee pee" is so small when everyone says it is supposed to get bigger when you become an adult. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
Today, my family invited a bunch of their friends over for a party. At some point they decided to play some home videos from many years ago. In one of them, I was 7, I said, "Look Mommy! I can make my pee-pee bigger by doing this!" Everyone saw and laughed. FML
Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML
Today, I was playing with my 5 year-old neighbor. I was changing and he saw me naked. Then he went home and his parents came over. Apparently, he told them that I have beautiful boobs. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML
Today, I was pooping in a public toilet and a kid had walked in on me. I then heard him tell his dad, "It's okay, I didn't see anything, he was fat so his chubby legs hid it." FML
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Top comments
cuz803 46
I'm assuming you were simply flaccid? What was his mom's response though? I'm curious.
Ambrily 27
A little child who hears that it's going to get bigger can think it's going to become REALLY big, so anything the 'normal' size will still look small to him. I don't think a child is the most reliable source of information on what a good penis size is.
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Comments (6)
Chazzster 32
Many males have a very elastic penis that is much smaller when not at all erect than when erect or partially erect. I assume this was an adaptation for humans who originally lived in colder climates (to minimize heat loss). Assuming your stepson is old enough to at least understand the difference between an erect penis and one that isn’t - He should simply be told the above and that he does not turn you on.
cuz803 46
I'm assuming you were simply flaccid? What was his mom's response though? I'm curious.
Ambrily 27
A little child who hears that it's going to get bigger can think it's going to become REALLY big, so anything the 'normal' size will still look small to him. I don't think a child is the most reliable source of information on what a good penis size is.
diraven 15
Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish prison...
Wadlaen 24
And what is the reason? You can tell us!
Justin Parker 11
both of my sons at this point have pulled the same stunt and seen me naked as well. it's normal for kids to question things. it can be as simple as "why do you have hair on your chest and I don't" but ultimately you need to explain to him that things change as you get older, and it's size doesn't stay the same either. depending on his age and maturity level you don't need to get into reason's why