Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML
Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML
Today, as I got out of the shower, my young stepson saw me naked. Later, he asked his mom why my "pee pee" is so small when everyone says it is supposed to get bigger when you become an adult. FML
Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML
Today, I figured out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl, and rub the water on her face. So I put the water bowl out of reach. She then figured out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
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Top comments
potatocouch 16
Hey, at least your child thinks it's long enough to be considered a "tail".
NoThanks999 19
Tell her only mommy can see the tail ;)
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Comments (49)
ChrisMora 16
That's going to be a fun thing to remind her about when she grows up.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Well she is 3. She is of age to understand the physical difference between males and females. You can just explain it to her.
janfleury 19
At some point you will look back on this and laugh. It is funny and cute.
Sneekert 4
America has a strange culture, on the one hand they are very prude, leading to 3 years old not know the difference between boys and girls and leading to hardly talking about and naming private parts. On the other hand sex is present everywhere and they have stars like Nicky Minaj. All the taboos lead up to daughters at some point going to sons for Netflix and chill which ends up in one-way oral pleasuring because the girl never even named her privates and never learned how they can be enjoyed in an adult and respectful way while the son is self-taught by ****, instead of by his parents.
Lyshandra 8
Step 1: Learn her how to find out if someone has a tail or not by patting them down there Step 2: Enjoy that your kid is on her way to become Son Goku
junefairy_fml 10
My son, when he was 3, saw me naked in the shower and asked in alarm what had happened to "Mommy's penis." Kids are so funny.
Sneekert 4
When you never educate your kids on the difference between boys and girls, they grow up with wrong wrong assumptions. What so funny about that? What else could your 3 year old son have said?
mattyiscool123 26
She should know that tails don't come out the front
syd13096 8
It's really no big deal. She's your kid. Hell I saw my parents naked all the time when I was little. It's natural, I don't know why people are making a fuss over it..
minagiv 11
And that's why you teach them about that stuff when they're little. My son knew boys had penises and girls had vaginas by the age of 2 1/2. My youngest is currently learning this.
Squiddddddddd 9
In my mind it shouldn't be a secret that boys are different from girls. Your daughter is too young to feel shame when seeing another person without clothes... don't take that away from her yet. Don't hide or make a big deal out of it, just give her the facts. Yes, daddy has something called a penis just like all boys and it is where they pee. This is not that difficult.