Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML
Today, my toddler started running around the house yelling, "Daddy said a bad word!" over and over again. I don't even know what I allegedly said, but now my wife is giving me the "we need to talk" look. FML
Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML
Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML
Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
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Top comments
RarityRoyale 17
At least numbnuts is a pretty tame insult compared to some of the things she could be calling you...
PantyGAMES 10
I'm actually somewhat disappointed that this just ended with numbnuts. Your wife needs to work on her insults.
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Comments (37)
jrock9093 18
Kids say the darness things numbnuts lol
mollyjynxjax 28
Ouch! Could be worse, though. At least you have a happy kid.
olpally 33
Hahaha. Cute kid! Numbnuts as an insult? Weak. At least it wasn't "mother ******* asshole."
mybubbles2000 13
What a terrible thing for your Daughter to over hear. And worst is that she's repeating it. Sorry. But at least she says it with a smile. Glad she doesn't understand what she's saying.
NeighSoulSister 6
Why? "Numbnuts" isn't all that bad. There are far worse stuff she could overhear and repeat.
mybubbles2000 13
True. I would just feel like crap if my Husband called me a name and my child called me it too.
darwinism 30
Reminds me of the joke "Dad cooks a deer and doesn't tell the kids what it is. He gives one clue - it's what your mother calls me. The boy yells it's a ******* dick, don't eat it!
mybubbles2000 13
Now that's a sweet idea!
123man 11
You should be glad that your daughter is at an important and proper stage of speech development! She's repeating what she hears and she's feeling what it's like to form the words with her own mouth. Next stop: real conversations! Oh, and you should have used "me" instead of "I" in your FML.
peacejunior 12
Just ignore it OP. She will get bored of it after a while.
etishuman22 32
I bet your wife keeps chiming in with "you're not the only one who thinks that, sweetie!". Kids are funny.
Keattles 14
Lol, that sucks, but it's so cute though!