Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, yet again, my 3 year-old daughter came home from a few hours with her father, screams and cries over everything, and when she realizes it won't get her anywhere, screams at me that she hates me and that she wants to go home. I calmly told her she is home, and she screamed, "This is not home!" FML
Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML
Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Today, I went to pick up my daughter from preschool. When I got there, I ran to give her a hug. She screamed and ran away. FML
Today, my 6-year-old daughter threw a tantrum in the middle of a store, all because I wouldn't buy her a pushup bra. FML
Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, I was picking up my daughter from my ex-husband's house and his new girlfriend was there. I said to my daughter that it was time to leave and she clung to his girlfriend and said, "Mommy, I don't want to leave." She wasn't talking to me. FML
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Top comments
Bathory_fml 0
Just start screaming "I HAVE NO SON! " at the top of your lungs. That'll shut her up. Probably out of confusion, but still.
dzidziaud 5
Hahaha, that must have been fun. was your visit to the police station pleasant? :]
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Comments (131)
dzidziaud 5
Hahaha, that must have been fun. was your visit to the police station pleasant? :]
lexilovesyou 0
This is epiccc(: Lmfao
codaic1549 0
you do realize that this happens all of the time, right?
MastaHorse 0
that little girl is SMART. that's like the only way for a little kid to get their way.
drcool41 0
say ure her uncle
cagj 0
I would have just gone oh sorry your right and walked away and hid behind a cloths rack to watch her reaction
domolovesyoshi 33
exactly what my parents would've done
Bathory_fml 0
Just start screaming "I HAVE NO SON! " at the top of your lungs. That'll shut her up. Probably out of confusion, but still.
lloyd1992 0
umm u said i have no son...and then that'll cheer her up? hmmm
shinyred 0
Shut her up not cheer her up!
well_this_sucks 0
lmfao
Free_Candy 0
Well it's true there's no mention of a son.
kittycat1597 10
He's saying that she looks like a boy
More_Man 0
were the police called? O.o what happened?
ROFLsyrup 0
hah I did the same thing to my mom in the grocery store when I was two... nothing came of it
Finnboghi 0
Nothing came of it because women can't do anything wrong. OP is lucky he didn't get arrested.
Pan22 0
Reminds me of a video I looked up a while ago. I had to do a project on the "Bystander Effect" for psych class. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIvGIwLcIuw Essentially they "Kidnapped" a young girl screaming "Your not my daddy" in a crowded area.
shyharmonybear 0
It's really sad to know that people would just glance and keep walking without doing anything to help a child. I would at least call 911 even though probably couldn't physically take a kidnapper on myself.
pandalover69 26
women can do bad shit too, women snatch babies and children
22cute 17
Geez so manipulative at two? What a brat!
Imawhalerider 0
toys are way more important than you
F_IVI_L 0
Lmao @ #5
Luckster 0
Time for good old-fashion discipline, the way I received it when I was acting like a little shit. Hope ya have a leather belt!
ledzepfan 0
@ #6; yeah, leather belt with the father, metal comb from the mother. that's how they used to do it, now-a-days, any more than a slight hit on the wrist is considered child abuse... i don't get it
brit8741 0
People who beat their kids ruined it for the rest of us.
ZleveL 0
94 I feel ya. my uncle slapped across the face when I got dirt on our tire in front of our white neighbors and they were SOOOOO shocked they just stared. BTW their kids were insane, the purposely ran over their car with their rv then beat it with a hammer. and they graffitied on their own house and LOTS of other crazy shit. all because they never got hit
brown4lifejot 1
My parents are the abusive type. I personally believe if you don't hit a kid when raising him/her and just be strict in other ways, your kid will turn out much better.
angelina_galvan 3
The belt: scariest thing as a child
tiernang 21
when i was a kid, my dad would always get out the belt. I was a smart child, and realized after a while, he stopped hitting us and was threatening us. i assume that was when it became a thing you werent supposed to do. So i stood up to him, and you know what i got? Hit.
Person1233 13
What a brat.
cefarix 5
Smart 2-year old. Watch out when she's a teenager and sneaking out of the house.
ananamoose 0
Seriously this girl is genius, be proud to have such a smart daughter, even though she doesn't enjoy your company as much as you'd like haha
mavsfan26 5
hahahaha! Oh my gosh, that's funny. Imma have to agree with #9 on that one
rainbows09 0
I used to do that exact thing to my parents when I was a kid too.