Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML
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Top comments
xScarletx 0
Yeah YDI for talking like that around your 5 year old
Broc 0
Why are you bad-mouthing people like that at all, let alone in front of a five-year-old? Really, it says more about your own insecurities...
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Comments (106)
uj_fml 4
ouch
nike1 0
That's probably the best word to describe my thoughts now, yes! heheh
ladypatience93 2
**** it it happens
tatababe 1
I think OP is a ****
tri1sometime22 0
Wow I can't believe people make comments like the one right above .....,
22cute 17
You know you deserve that, right?
junjouromantica 0
Well, it was going to happen eventually. xD
porsche944 0
FIRST
xScarletx 0
Yeah YDI for talking like that around your 5 year old
mashfan6507 17
I agree 100%.
krumi 13
Maybe she didn't know her daughter was around
crudeandrudeguy 29
I have a 5-year old. Little bastard can hear a pin drop from 200 feet and perfectly recall any word said near him at the worst possible time. It's like some sort of ninja skill?
porsche944 0
#3 EPIC WIN AHHAHA
fireandice92 0
O children, this is why we check the rm b4 using profanity
maladroite_fml 0
dumbfuck... haha thats what you get
Broc 0
Why are you bad-mouthing people like that at all, let alone in front of a five-year-old? Really, it says more about your own insecurities...
xxpinkgumballxx3 0
that stinks
LiveLoveLife_fml 0
be a little nicer? and DEFF. be careful about what you say..... little minds are like sponges u know.. lol sux tho