anonymous
United States
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
shitface
Australia
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
Noname
France
Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML
applesmama
United States
Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML
Anonymous
Concord, Canada
Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML
Anonymous
Charming...
Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML
Misbah Akhtar
Plymouth, United Kingdom
Child's play
Today, my 6 year-old brought me a card. On it was a turd belonging to my 4 year-old son. She got excited and grossed out, and threw it on the rug. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, as I put my 4 year-old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML
NooOOooOO
Today, I learned how artistically talented my daughter is. Unfortunately, her favorite medium to work in is poo. FML
WhosGoingToCleanThisUp
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
United Kingdom
Splosh
Today, my daughter taught me the literal meaning of "When the shit hits the fan." FML
mom
Spring, United States
Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML
Top comments
MCVelvet1497 3
Oh, shit balls.
fricknugget 3
LMFAO it might be me my new one too!!:P
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Comments (265)
nerdness 2
that sucks.
ericwashere 0
but does it suck, shit balls?
DrJesse 10
It does not,in fact,suck shit balls.
ThumbUp 1
How does one become to have "shitty balls" or do I even wanna know?
TheRealPeter 6
Are you making fun of my chin?
crabbyabby718 0
of course he isn't, there's no shit on your chin.
TheRealPeter 6
^Your dumber then Meg.
YacL 15
Why didn't I think of this sooner? I wonder where the kid got the idea.
MCVelvet1497 3
just stop with the shitty jokes .
kcircuses2 4
33 you're not Peter griffin so just stop
honeysuckel 0
she probably learned the word from watching The Jersey Shore :P
wolflover44 5
Nice to know I'm not the only one getting annoyed by "TheRealPeter" >.
coffeygirl12 14
it could be worse...
SuperPineApple 0
Oh shit balls!
Uneedanapbro 6
Me too!
Idonebeenhad 17
33- YOU'RE dumber than meg
iluvhobos 5
Not that I think language is a big deal, but four years old is just ridiculous. Also, where could she have heard it? Even 'tv 14' rated programs bleep out the word shit. So bad parenting on OP's part for either letting the child watch uncensored tv, or for letting it slip.
chuckychan 8
hopefully she was referring to her parents cuz you sound like a bunch of shit balls to me
soccersgr8 6
no shit Sherlock
FarSide 23
New... Jersey. Enough said.
chuckychan 8
wow or maybe she was referring to the comment 2 posts above?
WaywardDaughter 26
@ 105 Because a four year old doesn't know how to use a remote to change the channel, or use a computer. Certainly, she never leaves the house and could not have heard it from a random stranger at the store. (Sarcasm)
MCVelvet1497 3
Oh, shit balls.
Eggers 2
Mark my words, thats going to become a very popular exclamation now.
carlabelle 0
I used to say this all the time when I was little... and my parents had no clue where I learned it. Then when they told me it was bad to say that I said "Well what else can I say that starts with s#!t?"
katieklein 0
Sounds great(:
fmlsaves 0
holy shit balls batman!
VeganVampyre 27
Funny... That's what my grandfather always used to call Timbits.
oldnavysnake 0
I agree watch all the kids start sayinn this.(: haha
sskarma23 9
like father/mother like daughter
Alvarortor 14
#2 how about mental flatchulense I can't spell it it's a fancy way to say brain fart
fricknugget 3
LMFAO it might be me my new one too!!:P
flamegrilled123 3
haha one of my friend's first words were "**** off"
PSQ91 6
Miro :)
cc_the_beast 6
My little sister picked up "outta the way ********!!" from my mum driving her to pre-school.
zakkyzebra 11
When I was little I played video games a lot. (who the **** am I kidding. I still do) If I died on a level, I would quietly, but surely, mutter "damnit" under my breath.
bfflrhea 0
34- well heyy theirr ;)
leearm104 4
so what you're saying is as a kid you would swear if you died in a video game? that is so interesting, I've never heard of anyone doing that before. I bet you're the only one.
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Yeah I know! And dammit is so terrible too... -_-
lilly25001 7
x uj
PurpleLover4 0
ya ikr i am enjoying that saying
akg98 13
My personal fav is Ball *******!!
TheMasticater 9
win in?
EatnBeef 7
fail?
dinosaurfeces 4
Lose in?
Xaviour 0
85 I like how your picture and comment are a perfect match:)
RetardedChipmunk 7
Tie in?
hobbsicle805 0
You look like a giant ******
TheMasticater 9
winning?*
TheRealPeter 6
The only one "winning" is me with your mom. Nhyeayeayeayeyayeyea
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
27- careful she might me prostitute in
Mr_Chow 5
she must of learnt it somewhere
yomommma 6
From Snooki.
imaberry95 0
well obviously she learned it somewhere, she is 4. I don't think she knows what balls of shit are
tekcor 2
I'm guessing South Park
bitchslapped22 14
"Must of learnt?" nice grammar
StopDropNRoll 11
Just wondering. How did that happen?
JacksonCampbell 9
I know a baby who's first word was shit. She learnt it from her brothers, I think.
IPlayNakie 7
Hahahah I used to say that all the time
BeautifulDemonKP 4
my teacher says that sometimes. Where did that little girl pick it up tho.........
regsworld11 2
You're teacher seems to be a very nice role model for students...
leemurcat 5
You're= you are. Your= possessive. I don't see why it's so hard to understand :'( *sob*
chaoticnh 0
honesty what teacher is a role model for students lol?
jbug2010 0
ur hot
koe4 0
most ppl understand and if they were being graded by professionals theyd care enough to be proper but this is the internet bro.
cdragon 4
hes the angry nintendo nerd
edogy2 1
19- You are teacher? Strange...
katt_is_here 24
Exactly what I was thinking!!!
thelastlucifer 17
bad parenting?
israel12 0
we heard u the first time -__-
leearm104 4
kids pick up stuff like that, it happens. it doesn't mean the kid's parents are bad.
TraceCase_ 19
Her kid could have heard that anywhere in public. She should just explain that it's inappropriate to her daughter and ask her not to say it anymore. Then laugh about it on FML, 'cause it's funny ;D
TraceCase_ 19
Whoops, *he/she...doesn't specify. My bad.