Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML
Today, my toddler started running around the house yelling, "Daddy said a bad word!" over and over again. I don't even know what I allegedly said, but now my wife is giving me the "we need to talk" look. FML
Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML
Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML
Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
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Top comments
RarityRoyale 17
At least numbnuts is a pretty tame insult compared to some of the things she could be calling you...
PantyGAMES 10
I'm actually somewhat disappointed that this just ended with numbnuts. Your wife needs to work on her insults.
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Comments (37)
wvcheesehead 13
This is made up... Canadians are too nice to argue.
Simbaby 23
We'll it's kinda cute , because you can imagine a little kid saying it with a big smile . That would be just so darn cute , but it's is kinda insulting coming from your wife , because she meant a rude way but the child knew no better .
capnbzarr 43
On the bright side, you can use this as evidence to show your wife that name-calling is the most childish form of argument.
GingerNinja9000 7
Having a 4 y.o. myself, just know that it could be SO much worse. My daughter calls my boyfriend a prick as a term of endearment. She actually loves him, so it makes me wonder what she'd call him if she didn't!
krakhd 15
numbnuts!!!
CoffeeLover97 3
What are numbnuts.?
J15237 25
I am sorry but that is ******* hilarious and cute as hell on your daughters part.