Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter ran up to me and gave me a cup. She said it was lemonade that she made with her friend. When I took a sip, she giggled and ran back to her room. It was not lemonade. FML
Today, my daughter told me she wants to be a stripper when she grows up, just like "Daddy's girlfriend." We're still married. FML
Today, I went to a frozen yogurt stand with my dad. One of the flavors was called "Juicy Cherry." I had to stand there and watch in horror as he told the woman running the stand all about how he'd like to taste her juicy cherry. FML
Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML
Today, my daughter asked me to take her to Victoria's Secret so I could buy her some "sexy clothes". She's 9. FML
Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML
Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML
Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not a virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", Honey. FML
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Top comments
Sir_ND_Pity 35
1 - Yes, yes she did :)
iLike2Teabag 27
Don't pretend like any other generation didn't do their share of questionable things.
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Comments (361)
aleena525 4
It would be sad if she had sex before you and I'm sure she did
Funnyguyproblems 1
Why did your daughter even say that? She is 13, she should be in eigth grade now.
Angel_of_Night 10
Somebody slap that girl, because she needs some control
luvpuppy 13
Don't you mean... birth control?
debie_fml 14
surprise! you could have been a grandfather
luvpuppy 13
Why would she have sex? She probably doesn't even have boobs!
MissNicMcNic 4
I'm 25, I have no boobs and I still get laid. Sort of. In my mind. Oh God, I'm so alone *sobs in the shower eating cookies*
Slawter16 24
I'm nearly 15 and I've never even held hands with a boy, never mind kissed one or had sex. Why do people around my age try to grow up so damn fast?
aquarioussr 9
May be she doesn't even know what virginity is, and believes that having her first period means losing her virginity. She is only 13, and wouldn't mention it so casually had she been aware of its real meaning and its possible effect on her father. Kids of this age have a lot of misconceptions
Kenjikai 5
what the ****...?
Wrissapunk2020 5
In my Google search, it popped up that 10 year olds are searching for help because they're pregnant. What a shame, this society. -_-
chynnatownn 11
I read FML's because they're usually really funny. But this.. This is just sad :( I feel so bad for you.. And your daughter too. Talk about regret.