Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to buy beer underage for a party to impress a girl. I picked up the case of beer and went to the cashier, he ran it through without asking for ID. I left the store with a smirk on my face, I arrived at the party and showed the case to the girl. It was non-alcoholic. FML
Today, working in a liquor store, I had to tell a girl I couldn't sell her alcohol since she was severely intoxicated. She told me to "cash me ousside, how bow dat?" then smashed a bottle of wine and left. FML
Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML
Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML
Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML
Today, the girl who works at the liquor store came to where I work. She recognized me. FML
Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML
Today, when I went to the gas station to buy beer, some underage punk outside asked me to buy him booze. I told him to get bent, but the dumbass cashier had seen me talking to him, and refused to let me buy alcohol because, "This is obviously a sting." FML
Today, I walked into a liquor store and thought about inquiring for a job application. After seeing the cashier, I thought about inquiring if she was single. After accidentally breaking three bottles of liquor, I didn't do either. I left the store, still single and unemployed. FML
Today, a cute thirty-ish chick walked into the bar I work in. I asked her for her license to make her feel young. She didn't have her license on her and started yelling about how stupid it was to even ask, when she obviously was old enough to drink. She then got up and left. FML
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Top comments
dessaye 19
Good, people like her shouldn't be reproducing.
nate_msm 0
Maybe she was drowsing her sorrows because the school nurse thinks she is fat and stupid.
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Comments (111)
dessaye 19
Good, people like her shouldn't be reproducing.
therealslim 15
Mods! MODS! we have a spelling error! Obivious? I think we mean 'obvious'
jedielf 23
Sadly, it seems that people like her tend to reproduce the most.
nate_msm 0
Maybe she was drowsing her sorrows because the school nurse thinks she is fat and stupid.
Drigr 9
And that is how you buy beer under-aged. I'm actually curious if OP checked ID after how odd that must have been. Total blind-side/destraction
shift_love 13
That's ******* awesome.
PixelNoob 11
@ 34: It's actually illegal to sell alcohol to someone who's obviously drunk. At least, I think that applies to stores as well as bars. Dang, I should probably retake that seller's certification class...
Drigr 9
I'm under 21 so I wouldn't know anyways, nor does it apply to me, but does "drunk" mean the person FEELS drunk? Or is it based on whether or not they would be over the legal limit?
doctorhook86 25
79: Drunk means "feeling any effects of alcohol". Of course, you can be a little drunk or a lot drunk. Stores and bars usually have the right to refuse service, and if the seller THINKS that the customer is drunk, they're usually obligated to refuse to sell that customer any more alcohol.
fromthesuck 8
Um... Both I guess if you want to look at it that way. Drunk mean impaired by alcohol. Whether you feel it or the person next to you sees it. Drunk is drunk.
phantumgrey 6
Lol
Idonebeenhad 17
64- How the hell would it be ILLEGAL to sell ALCOHOL to someone at a BAR?
nado13579 12
Well it's a good thing she isn't pregnant then.
doctorhook86 25
99 - Here's how: The adults in your jurisdiction elected the government, and the government made a law saying that no one should sell alcohol to somebody who's already had too much. That's the whole story. Don't laugh; if you ever work in a restaurant or bar, you'll learn that there can be some seriously heavy fines on YOU (not just the bar) if you get caught breaking this law. It's $2500 where I live, for example.
OHai15 12
Dafuq are pregnancy test doing in a liquor store??...............
colliebuddz420 7
Didi, why do you have 5 fmls but none published even though you helped create fml?
tiggerbaxon 2
#27 yeah yeah good one
CplSambo 1
you cant even spell, stupid
colliebuddz420 7
145 did you know there is an apostrophe in can't?
puppie406 23
Wow, you're rude! She was noted as obviously drunk!!!! People do stupid things when intoxicated dumbass.
cassiano 0
Pretty sure it would be completely ****** to sell her more after that , you deserve to be fired sick ***** these days
toenibbler 14
At least you had an interesting day.
olpally 33
Sounds like a missing scene from one of the "the hangover" movies... Lol...
amandajlucas2015 2
How is this an FML
sparklecherry 4
Oh yeah, there's always that. Retard.
LilTiinyDiamonds 11
At least they saw pussy xDD
caitlyndeon18 10
Okay was anyone else wondering why they sell pregnancy tests at a liquor store?
llisner 2
Yes! Doesn't make sense.
staymintyfresh 13
Wow, she must have been VERY drunk
MilkmanPsycho 7
No, she was sober
pablopoo 7
I love how girls over do their drunk stage
Your_Nightmares 10
You don't say?!
myoukei 31
She must have been celebrating! Maybe she had thought she had been.
iFurrhy 11
Good observation.
cakeddeath 1
Well the beer won't help that
ryankon518 3
That's classy!
toenibbler 14
No, class would be going in there whilst sipping Earl Grey tea.
Ugi 27
Class is having your valet buy your Dom Pérignon. Ryan is, I am prepared to bet, not being entirely serious.
_overandout_ 10
What's the word I'm looking for ... Oh, found it: GROSS! :S
BruisedGiraffe 15
Call the cops, she just pissed on the floor and you'll probably have to be the one to clean it up
Keevarou 17
You should call the police, or an ambulance if she can not take care of her self alone while drunk, and don't you guys have a policy of not selling booze to obviously over drunk people? FYL indeed
ambamm135 7
If a person is obviously intoxicated a store/restaurant is allowed to decline the person further service for disrupting their shop.
The_Hitdude 12
You should've said "But you're wasted, and I want you to get the **** out."
olpally 33
Cool story, noor :D I love this new profile pic, that last one scared the crap out of me, lol
olpally 33
Good for you noor :) I agree with that too! Lol
ladyLALAA 29
Noor, you should do a panda, you could have bamboo and everything!
bowser_rawr16 13
That's funny! I probably would have looked at her in confusion, then burst out laughing. Was she underage, or was she older?
THE_A_TEEN 28
Baustigt mad! Baustigt throw! Baustigt SMASH!
LoganBurrito 6
Baustigt could throw the filing cabinet and be like "Eat THIS!" And she could be like "NEVERRR!" That's for you, 31.
KiddNYC1O 22
I'd laugh from disbelieve.