Today, my 11 month-old son started viciously biting whatever part of my anatomy he can sink his teeth into. He thinks it is hysterical to latch on while I scream helplessly in pain for him to let go. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when I called my 2-year-old son over for a hug, he giggled and squealed as he ran over to me. He then stopped in front of me, punched me in the bollocks, and walked away quite happily whilst I was doubled over in pain. FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML
Today, my two month-old continued teething. Her mouth is too small for teethers and pacifiers because she’s small for her age, she only thing giving her relief is using my breast as a teether. I’m cut and bruised, and there's no end in sight. FML
Today, my 10-month-old kept me up all night after a gruelling day. I finally fell asleep with her at about 2 a.m., and I woke up half an hour later to her hands on my throat, and her biting my nose. Startled, I took a big breath through my nose and snorted an ungodly amount of slobber. I’m awake now. FML
Today, my 5 month old son decided that my lip ring was a toy. Thinking it would be ok, I let him touch it. He got his finger caught and pulled his hand back. The lip ring is still in, but now I have a huge gaping hole in my face. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML
Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
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Top comments
magicman13 9
Spank him.
AxNxNxIxEx12 7
Spanking is discipline. I was spanked when I was little and I love and respect my parents. It's to help them learn right from wrong not hurt them
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Comments (216)
ahsanmasood 4
he's 11 months old, what did you expect! I think that you are possibly encouraging his behavior at some level...might i suggest getting him something else to chew on...he's probably teething!
fullalove 23
What could she possibly be doing to encourage it?
Bibliovore 26
61, "He thinks it is hysterical to latch on while I scream helplessly in pain for him to let go" implies that he's liking the results he gets -- thus, he's getting encouragement. #25 has good suggestions.
Stuffaluffagus 25
Bite him back then
kellyem2 20
Might be worth doing some research on how to discipline a kid that age. If they know it's wrong they are definitely old enough to get punished in some way.
aedan12 15
For a minute, I thought it said your 11 YEAR old son was biting you. o.o
withasmile 3
it's hard, but try not to scream or react other than a firm no. Babies think screaming is funny and will repeat things they find funny.
purebliss_fml 19
To everyone saying bite the baby back. A baby is not a ******* puppy. Can you actually stop and think about how absurd and quite frankly WRONG it would be to bite a baby who does not understand why they are being hurt or what they've done wrong? The baby is only laughing at the reaction he's getting from the parent, he has no idea it's hurting them. Most 11 month olds can't even walk and talk yet, let alone understand that they are capable of inflicting pain. I really hope OP doesn't take this ridiculous advice and bite the baby back because I'd hope that the paediatrician who treats your child sees the bite marks and alerts the appropriate authorities.
fullalove 23
The baby will however understand that when he does it, and gets hurt from doing it they will stop. You have to tech them somehow that biting is wrong, and what better way than to show them how it feels? I'm not saying do it hard, just enough to show them it hurts.
rc89 9
an 11 month old has developed object permanence and can understand cause and effect if you dont want to bite the child spank them or pinch their toe not hard but enough for them to realise its uncomfortable if you dont discipline your children when they hurt other people you are just begging for trouble when they start school by 11 months my son understood that if he bit me he would be spanked after a week of bitting and being spanked the problem stoppef
kakakarotcake 17
I have a 10 month cousin and when I pretend hit my uncle in front of him and my uncle grunts my cousin screams because he knows that means pain so yes they do understand in a way
cbroady0529 9
Dumb. Dumb dumb dumb. Try again in a few years after you had a child and done any significant research into early childhood development. And by the way, please do not bite a dog. Totally different connotation for animals than humans and it will not end well.
cbroady0529 9
I guess I should add that you shouldn't be biting so hard it leaves any kind of lasting mark. If you can't control your bite force due to anger, definitely don't use this method. But FYI, many pediatricians recommend this.
an3ph 20
Bite him back!
skyeyez9 25
If you are referring to breastfeeding, time to stop and have him use a sippy cup. If he is also biting your hands, fingers, arm then you need to bite him back when he does it. He needs to know it hurts so he will quit thinking of it as a game. Or else it will progress to biting other people, kids in preschool and so on. Which will lead to more trouble with angry parents.
ThePez828 18
You should remain calm and gently tell him, "No biting." Screaming in pain is the way wrong approach. Since he thinks it's funny it is encouraging him to keep doing it and you're giving him the message that pain is funny.
MiataHarley07 6
He is a BABY. You do NOT discipline infants by inflicting pain upon them when they have no capacity to understand why their protector is the one hurting them. That's ******* sick. Do NOT bite back or hit an infant, that is ****** up, you crazy sons of bitches. That's abusive and I hope none of you worthless ******* twits procreate.
rc89 9
well personaly I feel people who dont belive in disciplining their children (11months old is a child) when the physicaly hurt someone do not procreate as these parent are the reason we have a generation of people with no respect for anyone!
kakakarotcake 17
I believe it's people like you who see a light hit on the rear to discipline a child as a form of abuse shouldn't be allowed to be parents because your kids will be brats
ashsaunde 13
Except the kid isn't an infant, he's almost a year old. Of course it would be ridiculous to punish an infant because all they are capable of doing is eating, sleeping, and pooping. But the kid in the FML is old enough to be taught the difference between right and wrong. You start with telling them biting is not okay and that it hurts people and if the behavior continues you bite back 'gently' while telling them it's not okay.Kids don't just figure out things, the parents have to teach them and your idea of never punishing them is the reason kids are brats. Babies are smarter than you think.
UsagiArwen 23
I hope *you* never procreate, #45, because your children will be worthless "entitled" brats who get away with everything and anything. If you don't teach children that doing bad things is wrong, then they will never learn. How do children learn? Well I learned not to touch a hot stove because I touched one and it hurt. You have to explain to children on their level why not to do things. If it hurts, they have to feel it and know "ok, so I bite and it hurts, because I felt someone bite...and it hurt me...so I won't hurt them." We're not saying beat the child senseless, #45, we're just saying help the child understand *WHY* it's wrong to do. I had a cousin who was a biter. She once bit me on the face, and I was only a year older than she...even had a mark left from it. Then one day, I bit her back hard. She never did it again. Children *do* learn when they fully understand what their actions do to others. "For every action, there is an equal, yet opposite reaction" - Newton's laws of motion.
purebliss_fml 19
11 months old is a baby you dimwit. 12 months + a toddler. A four year old is considered a child. Grow a brain.
kate3101 15
Physical punishment is not the only form of discipline. I have 3 children varying in ages from adult to 8 years old. They didn't get physically punished as babies and yet they still manage to be respectful, decent people.