Today, when I called my 2-year-old son over for a hug, he giggled and squealed as he ran over to me. He then stopped in front of me, punched me in the bollocks, and walked away quite happily whilst I was doubled over in pain. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, I asked my 2 year old son to clean up his toys. When I bent down to give him a good job kiss afterwards, he punched me in the nose. FML
Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML
Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML
Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML
Today, my 11 month-old son started viciously biting whatever part of my anatomy he can sink his teeth into. He thinks it is hysterical to latch on while I scream helplessly in pain for him to let go. FML
Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML
Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML
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Top comments
Samantha Glennie 25
They're little darlings aren't they
RichardPencil 32
He really doesn’t want any siblings! Crafty little bastard!
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Comments (10)
Samantha Glennie 25
They're little darlings aren't they
Zehir_fml 10
They call those years "The Terrible Tots" for a reason.
mattyiscool123 26
It’s the terrible two’s
Talented73 54
If you were talking about a female it would be "the terrible twats".
Glowworm56 27
He's only two years old and he's already mastered the art of trolling.
RichardPencil 32
He really doesn’t want any siblings! Crafty little bastard!
Donut_Wizard 23
You just got cup checked by a 3 year old.
Lobby_Bee 18
Nut sacked.
Talented73 54
That's nuts!
Kurliez408 32
Did you piss off your S/O? It sounds to me like your son got orders from a higher ground.