Today, I was giving my boyfriend oral sex when he pulled away without warning. As I looked up at him to see what was wrong, he screamed "JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE!" and shot his load in my eyes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML
Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML
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Top comments
LyricaSilvan 30
Not gonna lie; I'd be pissed if that happened to me, but the way you put it makes it sound so funny.
friedpwnadge 25
Guess you didn't see it cumming until it was too late.
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Comments (78)
friedpwnadge 25
Guess you didn't see it cumming until it was too late.
KingSquisher 13
That was one of the best puns I've ever seen good sir
Autistic_Slut 9
and they say romance is dead
Jojohn0 23
I guess you didn't see it cumming until you couldn't see anything at all
LyricaSilvan 30
Not gonna lie; I'd be pissed if that happened to me, but the way you put it makes it sound so funny.
Iamnotfat 16
It's an overwatch quote, in the game the character flies up in the air before raining rockets down on their enemy.
LyricaSilvan 30
I am aware of this, but thank you.
Dramori 29
#2 has a female McCree avatar... pretty sure they know it's an Overwatch quote. OP, great Name!
just_zach 11
literally the funniest thing I've seen all week
Dodge4x4Ram 46
Romance at best
KillerKeemstar 7
You should have used sound barrier
zeroramiro2 4
You should have been Soldier 76 so you could say "I've got you in my sights" and countered.
Khryzis 14
but OP was blinded lol no sights
UrbanBoat 10
As an overwatch fan, I approve.
adame2kill4 3
Wtf....
RogueOne 10
Sounds like you're about ready to unleash your Primal Rage
RichardPencil 32
Actually, justice is blind. Now, you're justice.