Today, my 11 month-old son started viciously biting whatever part of my anatomy he can sink his teeth into. He thinks it is hysterical to latch on while I scream helplessly in pain for him to let go. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when I called my 2-year-old son over for a hug, he giggled and squealed as he ran over to me. He then stopped in front of me, punched me in the bollocks, and walked away quite happily whilst I was doubled over in pain. FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML
Today, my two month-old continued teething. Her mouth is too small for teethers and pacifiers because she’s small for her age, she only thing giving her relief is using my breast as a teether. I’m cut and bruised, and there's no end in sight. FML
Today, my 10-month-old kept me up all night after a gruelling day. I finally fell asleep with her at about 2 a.m., and I woke up half an hour later to her hands on my throat, and her biting my nose. Startled, I took a big breath through my nose and snorted an ungodly amount of slobber. I’m awake now. FML
Today, my 5 month old son decided that my lip ring was a toy. Thinking it would be ok, I let him touch it. He got his finger caught and pulled his hand back. The lip ring is still in, but now I have a huge gaping hole in my face. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML
Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
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Top comments
magicman13 9
Spank him.
AxNxNxIxEx12 7
Spanking is discipline. I was spanked when I was little and I love and respect my parents. It's to help them learn right from wrong not hurt them
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Comments (216)
junkman6 22
Buy him a chew toy! The squeaky kind so he can get the same noise satisfaction! In all seriousness, to those saying spank or bite an 11 MONTH old baby you are insane, at that age you just have to put up with it or find a substitute for them to teeth on.
Dallyni 22
No one is saying bite hard. They don't understand that it hurts, they enjoy the reaction. So you bite to show them that it hurts.
junkman6 22
Maybe I learned differently but I was always taught not to mess with infants too much. You just let them do their thing and only use a raised voice to make them stop doing something dangerous. Once again that's just what I learned and what I was taught. Biting back an older child like a 3 year old I completely understand but not an infant.
speckledots 29
How are you supposed to raise your kids to what is right and wrong if you just let them do whatever they please for the first year and a half in their lives. I'm not saying to abuse them and never let them play or make the baby mistakes they do. But when something happens and they continue to do it, they aren't going to stop doing it because you never show them that's its wrong to do.
OptimusVader 23
If you don't "punish" an almost year old baby by TEACHING them what their actions feel like to them, a baby will not learn the difference between right and wrong. If you're lucky, they will grow out of it. Otherwise, the habit can follow them for years, leading to other children being bitten as well. This happened to a friend of mine and almost resulted in a legal battle. There's nothing wrong with nipping or putting a distasteful substance on your skin for the baby to taste when biting.
OptimusVader 23
Also, I'm pretty sure being almost a year old makes them a toddler more than an infant. Spanking an infant would be much more disagreeable.
perdix 31
Can't you smack his ass? If you can't, get him a Hannibal Lecter mask and keep him away from the chianti and fava beans.
TheRoyalDog 10
Kids start earlier every year!
cbroady0529 9
It sounds mean, but bite him back. Not crazy hard or anything, but hard enough that he'll understand that it hurts when he does that. Your reaction is what's causing him to do it over and over again. He thinks it's funny because he's too little to understand. We went through an extremely short biting phase of my two-year-old when she was that age. I felt terrible for about three days after I bit her back, but she never bit anyone again.
foxy_grampa 19
Bite him back. That'll teach him a lesson on why you shouldn't bite.
Speshelphreak 13
Well of course he keeps biting you're making it a game for him and he doesn't understand the concept of pain associated. Bite him back and I don't mean like tear his flesh or mark him up but enough that he gets it.
Dallyni 22
Bite him back, not hard, just hard enough to get the point across
SWC_Penguin 17
It's tough to discipline at that age because they don't always associate the punishment with the action. People have suggested spanking but that's VERY risky here since you'll run the risk of making him think that there's some big hitting/biting game going on. You're obviously not going to beat a baby with your full strength so it's quite possible you'll judge wrong and make things worse. Think like a baby and go after his real fears. I suggest trying hard to not scream when he bites, putting him down and having everyone leave the room. That will not be popular with him, but let him cry. Besides, what lesson is better? "Hit people when you're mad" or "You'll only have friends if you're nice to them." I know which lesson I'd prefer my kid to grow up with.
potterhead_143 10
Bite him back!
RosaEP517 13
Every time he does it bite him back. My son was doing the same thing and when I started to bite back he cut it out quick. Also look up Nursing Manners. It can be helpful for a stubborn nursingling.
cornyrob 33
Could turn into the baby in "A Series of Unfortunate Events"