Today, I was feeling a bit randy, so when my boyfriend got home, I jumped on him and gave him a proper deep-tongue kiss. I noticed he tasted a bit weird, so I asked him when he last brushed his teeth. His answer: the day we had dinner with his mother. That was two weeks ago. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he stopped brushing his teeth two days after we started dating. Tomorrow is our 2 year anniversary. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, I’ve discovered that even if he brushes his teeth for 10 minutes straight, flosses, and rinses with mouthwash, my boyfriend’s breath still smells like a cross between sewage and rotting fish. I’m running out of excuses for not kissing him. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
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Top comments
PenguinPal3017 19
Sounds like you should see his mother twice a day.
RichardPencil 32
You hadn’t kissed him in two weeks? Your relationship smells worse than his breath, I surmise.
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Comments (20)
hiddenUSERNAME 27
dumb him, just end it
Jonathan Riedel 10
even though the majority of the People on this platform Seem to think so, Not every little imperfection is a reason to end a relationship.
John Nemeth 14
You better brush up.... And you need some mints... And you need some mouthwash too... You better brush up You better floss again To your teeth you must be true....
BurnInDemonFire 39
You'll never be randy again.
Dave_Davington 34
See, there are indeed downsides to dating Austin Powers.
RichardPencil 32
You hadn’t kissed him in two weeks? Your relationship smells worse than his breath, I surmise.
PenguinPal3017 19
Sounds like you should see his mother twice a day.
WHSKitty4ever 23
Your boyfriend is a disgusting pig. Lemme gues… he doesn’t use deodorant, either?
RichardPencil 32
He does -- he puts it in his hair.
DanielleinDC 34
How did you not notice that before? That's just disgusting.
WhatHappenedToIt 22
barf
blondie45 21
Hope he is now your ex boyfriend!