Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML
Today, my thirteen month old son woke me up at 6AM on my day off, by punching me in the eye. FML
Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML
Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML
Sleep demon
Today, my 7-year-old sister had a nightmare, so I let her sleep in my bed. I woke up to her punching me in the face and giving me a black eye. Apparently, she not only screams when she's having a nightmare, she also "gives the bad guy a taste of his own medicine." FML
Today, my two sons were fighting. I had to shout, "Give me that pillow" - the object over which they were quarrelling - and put them into two separate rooms. My sons are 12 and 15. FML
Back-seat parenting
Today, I yelled at my oldest son for picking his little brother up by the throat. Only to then be yelled at my my mother-in-law for hurting his feelings. FML
Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML
Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML
How could you?
Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML
Top comments
amadeclton 27
Time for counseling?
Marie54321 19
Sounds like the beginnings of a serial killer...
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Comments (109)
pwnman 33
Seems like a milky situation... I just felt like putting a useless comment here, I expect the down votes..
amadeclton 27
Time for counseling?
Onyxdragon 9
ah love, its in the air
so_smooth 13
Nah bruh, he's chill, promise.
NellieeNell 18
Trying to be like Stewie Griffin I see
Stazza11 27
Counselling must be a code word for ass whoopin. If I found out my kids ever tried to do something like that on purpose they would get flogged.
devildog562 33
It's a shame you can't beat kids like you use to. :/ mind you not abuse. I use to get my ass beat when I acted up. A few months ago a kid in the hospital told me " *racial slur* you ain't fend stuck me with shit mother ******". I told him him he was lucky his mom was there and she should be ashamed of herself for allowing her five year old talk to an adult like that. A good ass whooping is good for bad kids. I know I was one of them.
Brandi_Faith 34
Totally off topic, but I agree with 65. I completely agree with spanking. Abusing your kid and spanking them are completely different. I think that as a parent you should try things like timeout and taking away toy privileges for the every day stuff and to try that first, but sometimes spanking is required. A lot of kids also respond better to things like timeouts, and then there are the kids who don't care about timeouts and will scream their head off at you, those kids respond better to spankings. I also think you shouldn't spank your kid when you are angry. And for those saying that children get mixed messages because they're not supposed to hit but they're being "hit," my 2 brothers and I were all spanked and we knew we were not allowed to hit people, we also knew that our parents loved us and that spanking us was a form of discipline and that it was for our benefit. We all turned out to be great kids and all 3 of us believe that spankings are useful and are thankful our parents did it.
silencebabyy 23
I don't think a spanking would help...at least not now that it has come to smothering. I think hitting the kid will only further aggravate him. Counseling would be best
chosha_fml 27
#65 Trying to smother someone in their sleep isn't the kind of problem that would be solved by spanking.
Guatican 6
#91, perhaps it could place fear into the child and have it think twice before attempting again? just my two cents.
Dekat121 24
its not that smacking your children is bad, but humans only lash out like thar when theyre angry and or upset, some people might not be able to tell the difference between smacking their kids and abusing their kids due to the rage inside them. plus children learn that using physical language to get what you want done is easier and more effective than talking, and that should never be the case.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
#96 I agree with you there. My dad frequently whipped me with a belt and both he and my mother verbally, emotionally, and physically (including slamming me into the corner of a wall and slaps across the face) and none of it made me respect him or even realize what I was doing was wrong. Not saying that spanking is wrong; on the contrary, some kids can learn well from a good ass whipping. But my parents would always get so angry with me that the fury is all I remember; it colored all of their actions and made it horrific to live through. My mom let my dad hurt me. She said "You know he has anger problems. You know he has buttons. Just don't push his buttons, honey." Now they wonder why I don't live at home and barely visit. Sorry for the novel, just trying to relate :)
typical_girl_ 19
Can't decide if this is a YDI or not...
Brandi_Faith 34
97. This is why I think a parent shouldn't spank their kid in when they are angry in the heat of the moment. My parents always sent me to my room first to "think about what I've done" and then they would come up later and calmly explain to me why they were doing what they were doing and told me that they didn't enjoy doing it and told me they loved me. I think that is probably why I respected them so much even when they disciplined me. I knew why it was happening, that it was something they hated doing and that their feelings and love toward me didn't change. I think when parents spank while they're angry it can often undermine the entire discipline, as it did for you for example.
FrutLoopDingus 19
Anger management?
sayyestothedress 24
Time for therapy!
tony1891 22
I'm so Happy and witty and....wanna smoother you with this pillow!!!
Marie54321 19
Sounds like the beginnings of a serial killer...
badmandilon 19
My first thought also. Time to give him a good lesson.
nicolemf4 13
your son may be a psychopath
thatoneninjadude 14
No he just told her to many times that he didn't want feather pillow.
devildog562 33
This is what happens when you don't get them mcdonalds. I stole fries from my cousin once and he tried to choke me with a pillow case . Beware op, beware.
Mattaguirre_ 15
he didn't get the right amount of candy for Halloween ...
cakefete2 31
That comment became too funny when I pictured OP's son with a drug scale weighing his candy.
klaudia_ 14
What does OP mean?
Vegetarian27 24
Original poster.
TiiBags 15
Why is #81 getting down voted dor helping #79?
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Because OP doesn't mean Original Poster... It means Octagonal Penguins. I thought everyone knew that ;P
ZoroMiHawk 25
That's a major problem you have there. Seek professional help ASAP for your kid while you still can.
scarman_fml 14
too much MacBeth
VengeanceChicken 12
no but someone is killed in their sleep in MacBeth
MrCantgetright 4
out damned spot!!!
ScottVining 21
Kids these days
iLike2Teabag 27
You're one of em buddy.
mif_fml 27
YEEEAAAAAHHH!!! Owned.
dgameseeker 12
Shouldn't have said that he couldn't have the last cookie in the cookie jar!