Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went paint-balling with my girlfriend. As we drove she was scared about getting shot a lot, especially in the head. I reassured her that with all the protective gear it was unlikely. First round, within a minute, she gets shot 3 times in the back of the head. FML
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML
Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML
Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went shooting. While I was showing him how to properly hold and adjust a rifle, he accidentally pulled the trigger. The gun kicked back and hit me in the face, breaking my nose. FML
Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML
Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML
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Top comments
stunty_fml 0
Friendly fire? Isn't.
emer_helena 0
I love how you dont say that you shot her by accident
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Comments (183)
icecreamdriveby 5
Does anyone else picture her finger just dangling there in two pieces?
24788 7
FHL, she has the broken finger and a boyfriend who shoots his own teammates.
mcsnelly 5
i kinda agree with #67 and that the OP wasn't exactly being sexist, but it just sounded odd the way he worded the post. If it was his gf's first time playing paintball and he just wanted to make sure she got the hang of it and didn't get hurt right away to have fun while playing then that is kind of sweet. But if it was more like he was saying she couldn't do it herself and needed lots of help, then that would be sexist. But I think the OP was going more for the first scenario. Personally, though, I'd be a little annoyed if my bf actually said he wanted to "protect" me. And yes, #32 (and anyone else complaining about feminists), learn what feminists actually are before you call them all complaining lesbians. #28--I do have to disagree-men can complain much more than women....ever had to take care of a guy while he's sick? Just saying.....lol
lmmmr 0
#80- What exactly is it that you disagree with about an intellectual, philosophical and political movement aimed at equal rights and legal protection for women?
musicfanatic 0
yeah, i kind of agree with the person who said that the 'being manly' part was trying to be humerous. but ouuuch for your girl ;) and FYL, it's not like you *planned* for it to happen [i hope].
SpliffyMcBlunt 0
When the hell did this turn into a war of the sexes? And #52 men can pee standing up try and do that.
lmmmr 0
#87- So can women. It's just less hygienic.
jengen 0
Way to go, romeo...
Belldandy911 0
Smooth move, Mr. Macho man. YDI.
bunny2 0
my parents met when my dad broke my mom's toe playing softball. who knows, you could turn out married