Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to join my friends for a game of paintball. I got shot in the same spot three times in a row. It turned out to be my own team, who mistook me for the enemy because I was wearing… camouflage. FML
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML
Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
Today, I went paint-balling with my girlfriend. As we drove she was scared about getting shot a lot, especially in the head. I reassured her that with all the protective gear it was unlikely. First round, within a minute, she gets shot 3 times in the back of the head. FML
Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML
Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML
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Top comments
TenebrificTurtle 0
Okay, your life sounds more interesting than mine. Someone got your breathless, you swooned to the ground, and someone took a shot on your genitals--sounds like a romance novel.
fireandice27 0
Now that's just mean!
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Comments (146)
fireandice27 0
Now that's just mean!
Zoockey 5
10 points + another 10 points BONUS. I do hope you shot your gun empty on him while he was running away??
chipmunk95 0
you get winded from getting shot in the stomach? your fault for being a baby I know kids who are 9 who get shot up close in the stomach and everywhere else. don't hate...
stone_light 0
Boom "head" shot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PassionateFruit 0
Yeah, #66 what are you using nerf guns? Paintballs can KILL, it's been done before. And even if that doesn't happen a lot, it is perfectly normal to get the breath knocked out of you because you were hit by a paintball in the stomach. Even at a range they form dark bruises that hurt a LOT for weeks and weeks. Not only that, but from that range, the OP can have his balls get popped and have to spend a whole bunch of money on surgery. Your post is filled with lies -_-
Reyo 2
And that's when you waited untill the end of the game, waited for him by the entrance, and emptied the remainder of your gun into HIS crotch, right?
Nakedsquirrel 5
74, Are you a Fox News anchor, or did you just swipe one of their special bulletins?
Hopglock 0
You have no idea what your talking about #74 you clearly have never been paintballing. No one has ever died from being hit by a paintball, just misuse of equipment like air tanks. and btw it is not normal to be winded from a paintball. It stings but it wont knock the breath out of you. And to the OP I dont know why you didnt light that asshole up for that.
acidblasta 0
Your post is full of lies sir, getting shot in the junk with a paintball is not fatal. Painful hell yeah but permanently damaging no. I have had friends have their crotches lit up with five or six balls at a time they went down in pain but got up and are still able to bare children. I have been kicked in the junk with more kinetic energy than a paintball and I am still intact. and it's impossible for paintballs to kill someone. they can injure someone if misused as in not wearing face masks. but they don't pack near enough punch to kill not enough mass and not enough speed. paintball markers fire at 300 feet per second or almost 280 miles per hour. but due to the light weight the do nothing more than sting never kill. in fact the only way you could probably do permeate damage to someones junk would be to crank a guns velocity beyond 300 and then shoot someone directly in the balls with out that person wearing any form of pants. So no paintball on the nudist ranch. even if your in jeans and not the special made paintball pants a nut shot won't kill your balls because the denim will soften the impact enough to prevent it from happening. Did you know that paintball is one of the safest sports in existence with a consistant .02 percent injury statistic per 1000 participants. that's less than golf and bowling.
Dooms_day 5
why are you fails arguing about how much getting shot in the nuts hurts? btw i would ******* shoot that bitch 1034248 times if he did that
jisaac09 25
I know my advice to all guys acting like girls is to "grow you a pair" but that wouldnt make much since here...... If u get winded by gettin shot in the stomach by a paintball then u might want to stop immediately and go see a trained physician cause your not healthy enough to play. Ive been shot with all different kind of paintballs from wal-mart balls to ones ordered specifically for the pros, ive been shot by guns turned way up almost to the point that they chop every ball coming out and all i wear is two t-shirts and though they do sting, they cannot wind a healthy person by hitting the stomach...... FAKE...
Ambrielle 0
wooooow you spent waaaay too much time proving your point :S
omgpewpewlazersp 0
if the paintballs are frozen and shot from close enough there basically a musket rifle shot.. then they can kill
Seabeast1000 4
haha #72! lol
hahaitsmattheau 0
I've played with paintball guns and even getting shot in the head never left a bruise that lasted for weeks or days
Scorch117 0
No they can't you idiot I play paintball on a pro team, I have played speedball with Nicky Cuba and been with the program for years, and an idiot like you says that they hurt more if they're frozen? WRONG! If paintballs are frozen, they hurt even less. They'll break in your barrel and won't even come out of the end. They fall apart in your hands. And OP, what were you doing playing paintball without either a cup or paintball pants?!? No such thing as "more powerful paintball guns" because they're all chrono'd (limited at either 250 feet/second or 300) so all of you flaming roaches over here, stop spreading fake rumors that keeps people away from a sport!
max_wilder 9
shove your foot so far up the ass of whoever did it until they have toes fir teeth.
bennyboy111 7
ive been paintballing and it doesn't hurt that much even in the stomach plus it is common sense to protect ur balls even if u don't hav a box cover it with ur hand or gun better to be safe then sorry eh
RrubiksCuber 6
# 74 + #119: you, my friends, haven't a clue what you are talking about. No one has ever died from a paintball, snd they don't freeze solid because of their high oil content (at normal freezer temperatures, without something like liquid nitrogen)
JustSwagItOut 0
72 made my night..
The_CL0GGER 0
i know what you feel OP, i went paintballing recently and though i didnt get hit in my crotch point blank, i got shot in the neck, three times. And did get hit in my crotch from about 50ft away. i did get hit point blank about 5ft where i was sneaking up from behind (bad move) and got shot 5 times on the left side of my body, the bruises were so bad i couldnt even imagine the pain of getting hit in the crotch at point blank range.
Dcvictorious 0
YDI for not thinking your crotch should be better protected.
thematt_fml 0
this is bull. it doesnt just hurt getting shot in the balls. from a normal range, ur balls will literally pop. so at point blank, ud have an empty ball sack, and a trillion dollar hospital bill for fakes. and with a if your wore a cup YDI for not havin a big enough cup, so that is crushed sed genitals
Dcvictorious 0
lol- does Australia have a form of the NHS?
acidblasta 0
your balls would only burst if you where shot directly on the balls as in skin to ball contact and who in the right mind is going to play naked. even jeans would be able to damphen the kinetic energy of a paintball enough to stop the damage. but it would still hurt bad.
jackkerouc9 0
Mhhmm, balls...
Jcat_fml 0
YDI for playing at a crappy field that doesn't have refs. Bonus balling is not prohibited at most legit fields. Plus that's just bad sportsman ship, you also did it for not getting up and shooting the person who shot you.
DongPiece47 13
Dude. It doesn't have to be a dedicated paintball field or court. It could have been a farm for all we know
Trainn 19
It can happen anywhere "YDI" you're just slow.
perdix 31
Crotch shots are for Internet pr0n, only!
burnsie22 5
P0rn u spelled it wrong
lathblade 0
YDI for not getting revenge
tmanapoo 0
You must suck.
Phantox 0
That's why you get a vest that covers your chest, stomach, and balls
whataloadofbull 0
How do you get a vest that covers your chest, stomach, and balls? That's one retarded looking vest QED
iwadasn 33
You don't really know what QED means, do you?
kieron2013 19
Or, you know, just man up and take the pain.
KingKralj 31
Yeah, because a point blank paintball shot to the crotch I definitely isn't THAT painful. You're a retard.
TenebrificTurtle 0
Okay, your life sounds more interesting than mine. Someone got your breathless, you swooned to the ground, and someone took a shot on your genitals--sounds like a romance novel.
Wind_fml 0
Honestly. Who rolls around on the ground until someone walks up and shoots them. Who wouldn't at least MOVE when they see them walking up...
TenebrificTurtle 0
I think he was being coy.
americayay 0
sucks. i have a friend who lost an eye paintballing, though, so it could be worse.
Intoxicunt 6
"YOU'LL PUT YOUR EYE OUT, YOU'LL PUT YOUR EYE OUT!"
jts2 3
Oh man, I can't wait 'til Christmas this year. So need to watch that movie again..
null_fml 11
I totally went to the school where some of that movie was shot. :D I may have even licked the same flagpole at some point...
GuerillaRated 0
50 did u at least get a dinner or drinks out of it... maybe a movie? You can't just be licking flagpoles like that. Get something in return.
AABatteries 0
And my dad had a store in the same place where the toy store was. He really did.