Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went paint-balling with my girlfriend. As we drove she was scared about getting shot a lot, especially in the head. I reassured her that with all the protective gear it was unlikely. First round, within a minute, she gets shot 3 times in the back of the head. FML
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML
Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML
Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went shooting. While I was showing him how to properly hold and adjust a rifle, he accidentally pulled the trigger. The gun kicked back and hit me in the face, breaking my nose. FML
Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML
Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML
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Top comments
stunty_fml 0
Friendly fire? Isn't.
emer_helena 0
I love how you dont say that you shot her by accident
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Comments (183)
s0n0fjay 0
This isn't Halo! you can't turn FF off!
geeder 0
ummmm im a semipro speedball player nd i get shot in the fingers all the time within like an arms length nd know 4 a fact tht u cnt break fingers with a pb gun....either ur lieing or u were shootin marbles
mandalaine05 0
I don't think the OP was being sexist at all. I just think that he thought he was being a gentleman, and maybe his girlfriend is some high maintenance chic who likes being taken care of 24/7. You never know, some chics like shit like that. I personally don't. I don't want a guy to do things FOR me, I want someone to do them WITH me. The best relationship is an equal relationship, I believe.
Futt_Buck 0
Aren't you supposed to turn friendly fire off before the game starts? /Geeky FPS remark
mattmag 0
She broke a finger from paintball? Does she have osteoporosis?
norcal17 0
#61: Agreed on your last sentence. Reading the chains of comments are WAY more amusing than the FML itself.
shani__ 0
throw the paintball gun on the floor and point to the guy next to you :)
KoreanGuy 0
thats why you keep the barrel away from things ur NOT going to shoot
your_lifesucks_ 0
maybbeee he mean't to sayy her naill broke? :S
a1mostevi1 0
it would be sick and funny if you said "off." at the very end.