Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML
Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML
Today, I went paint-balling with my girlfriend. As we drove she was scared about getting shot a lot, especially in the head. I reassured her that with all the protective gear it was unlikely. First round, within a minute, she gets shot 3 times in the back of the head. FML
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML
Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML
Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML
Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
laden_swallow09 35
Never go paintballin' with the in-laws. NEVER. There are several FMLs exactly like this one that illustrate why.
RhineBl 17
He didn't do it to protect her, he did it to hurt him.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (58)
nikkipettyfer 24
It's every dads job to protect his daughter! Don't let it get to you too much. Treat her well and I'm sure he'll loosen up, OP!
RhineBl 17
He didn't do it to protect her, he did it to hurt him.
nataliewby 25
How is that protecting his daughter? Unless OP did something worthy of that punishment, it's not protecting, it's abusing
ImAFaker 29
Protection, abuse, what's the difference?
badluckalex 23
theres a huge difference.....
incoherentrmblr 22
Well, at least he tapped it...
patrickeli 15
That's why you don't go paintballing... Or any "game" that involves shooting at opponents.
davidpropert 32
#5 ... Or you could not be a pussy (Btw im not saying OP is a pussy, just the notion of avoiding some paintballing because "it hurts" is).
SystemofaBlink41 27
Well, I don't know about you, but I hate pain.
patrickeli 15
You'd still be enabling others to do something that you wouldn't want.
Tessa_11 19
Do you play any shooting game? It's fun if you where proper equipment/ clothing.
tantanpanda 26
I think OP is fine with getting shot, just not repeatedly out of unjustified spite.
gpg5 19
Unless it's laser tag. Laser tag is awesome
feven 32
This doesn't seem like a promising future relationship wise between u two lol (you and the dad)
MegaExplosives 17
on the contrary, its gonna bloom into something beautiful. And a bit aggressive. But beautiful nonetheless
GodPart2 20
An eye for an eye makes the world blind - Mahatma Gandhi
Mystery_Unsolved 16
I think it's a hint. A more blatant one.
henrylikestreats 22
Sounds like an act of war to me. (; Have fun with this one, OP!
laden_swallow09 35
Never go paintballin' with the in-laws. NEVER. There are several FMLs exactly like this one that illustrate why.
laden_swallow09 35
*magazine. You put a clip into a magazine, which you put into the receiver. Getting your nomenclature correct is serious business.
speakfreely 21
Time for a new girlfriend
thes7274473 19
I don't think he likes you