Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML
Today, I went paint-balling with my girlfriend. As we drove she was scared about getting shot a lot, especially in the head. I reassured her that with all the protective gear it was unlikely. First round, within a minute, she gets shot 3 times in the back of the head. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML
Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to join my friends for a game of paintball. I got shot in the same spot three times in a row. It turned out to be my own team, who mistook me for the enemy because I was wearing… camouflage. FML
Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML
Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML
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Top comments
soccerguy2 11
Well paintballs hurt like a bitch so if she kept shooting you I don't blame you.
Kiki242 19
You just stood there? we have legs for a reason.
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Comments (118)
MeLikeBigBoom 8
Well that sucks...
soccerguy2 11
That's why it's on fml...
soccerguy2 11
Well paintballs hurt like a bitch so if she kept shooting you I don't blame you.
pastywhitekid 10
Wonder how far away she was shooting from...point blank would be no bueno. Regardless, FYL, op.
Lucia_Malpense 14
Exactly! I don't understand why so many people are saying YDI.
gracehi 33
People clicking "YDI" clearly have never been mercilessly assaulted by a barrage of paintballs. For some reason, when it happens, your brain neglects to tell your legs to run, and all you can do is helplessly crouch and throw your hands defensively in front of your face while you scream, "STAAAAAAAAAHP!!!!!"
Codezlol 21
Facemask (obviously) neckguard, 2 layers of long sleeve t's or a hoody, gloves and ear protectors. Wear those and you will never cry like a bitch again.
unknown_user5566 27
47- This is true. The very first time I played, I wasn't wearing enough protection, and REALLY regretted it. When I played a few years later with my guy friends, I had on all the protective gear, and felt fearless. Needless to say, the 2nd time around I was much more successful.
TurquoiseJesus 15
They really only hurt if it's your first time playing (which I suspect may be the case for OP). I typically have a lowish pain tolerance, but whenever I play, I usually am just wearing the mask, a t-shirt, and my paintball pants (which are a bit thicker for sliding purposes). I've been bunkered/shot point blank on the top of the head/my sides/chest/etc. and it doesn't really hurt that bad. But I've been at it for a few years, so my whole story might very well be invalid in this case.
Krajjan 9
47 - I once made the mistake of "killing" two instructors playing OpFor (bad guys) during a paintball training exercise. The remaining three unleashed fully automatic paint hell upon me. I can safely say, even in military grade body armor and a Kevlar helmet, it still ******* hurts. FYL.
dead247 13
After playing for so long, I stopped caring about it. Being shot so many times for so many years, you gain leather skin.
xSonic 9
FML? That's kinda cute....
Kiki242 19
You just stood there? we have legs for a reason.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Running away doesn't seem any manlier, though. Best to just take it like a man and have her take care of your wounds when you get home. ;)
StalkerChick 13
Read number 39's comment in the above thread. She explains it well. :)
tygerarmy 35
Running away helps, it also helps to shoot back. And if it she shot at a defenseless you, you can still shoot back after she runs out of ammo. All's fair in love and paintball war.
gmaniac93 7
Is it weird that reading this FML sort of turned me on?
RedPillSucks 33
Yes, it is weird.
littlemissjayy 8
So what. He was frozen in place
loufol22 5
Dude don't just stand there
littlemissjayy 8
He was getting hit non stop. So he has his reason
ProctorKProducti 5
No he doesn't! That's a reason to run like hell!
BeccaHugs 17
Being hit with paintballs point-blank like that hurts like a bitch. I don't blame you for screaming - I would've too.
jelly713 19
Definitely, people are forgetting it leaves welts on your skin thru direct contact. >_< Got shot by one on the arm one night because some douches didn't want me to interlock arms with my boyfriend.
TurquoiseJesus 15
63- with regards to the welts, I met this one guy who was big into tourny paintball, and his left side of his chest was all scarred from being shot. Often times it can break the skin at close range.
unknown_user5566 27
Never underestimate a girl's skills! I played paintball once with a group of guy friends, and their outcome was similar to yours. That whole "oh my gosh, I don't know what I'm doing, tee-hee" is simply an act we put on... makes you boys easier prey. :)
thecrapblog 8
Yep... Makes boys even easier as a prey when you act like you don't know what your doing when in reality the next moment you got all of the guys down!
a_lenzmeier 11
It also helps us do things we don't like/want doing-fix the garbage disposal, change the oil in our car, parallel parking, etc.
gracehi 33
Guys pull the same shit, but with cooking and laundry.
alycion 39
I use to play in tournaments. I was the only girl on the team. Often they'd pick off my team mates thinking I would be an easy out. We won quite a few rounds that way.
ICastillo 25
#36 you forgot doing dishes. I freaking hate washing dishes. Ill make any excuse not to do them.
spekledworf 18
It blows my mind that people can't parallel park! I made my boyfriend try it and he ended up with his front wheel over the curb. Needless to say, I'm the desginated parallel parker in our relationship.
calipilot227 16
You are sadistic...and I love it! >:-)
unknown_user5566 27
68- I don't know if I should be flattered or creeped out by that comment. o.O
SystemofaBlink41 27
When in doubt run... Something OP didn't do...
hichyz5257 4
Hey guys don't want to shoot there girls so he was just being nice and just so you know most guys dot by that I don't know why I'm doing stuff
alycion 39
Bs. My husband shot me plenty. Ever get hit in the nipple with a flat line barrel? Talk about pain. As far as paintball, never run and never surrender. Be ready to unload on whoever comes near you.
Docbee 11
She had to show everybody who was the dominant one in your relationship.
Nilla_Please 12
Minus the paint balls that is
BlowinChronic 18
32- coming from the one in the bra...
unknown_user5566 27
60- What does her profile picture have to do with OP not having balls?
imperialtl 12
What an awesome girlfriend. Really. No sarcasm. I mean it , that's awesome.
unknown_user5566 27
10- Agreed! My guy friends love girls who can hold their own in games like Paintball (once they get over getting their asses kicked, that is).
emeraldisle 30
Did you flail your arms like one too?