Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went paint-balling with my girlfriend. As we drove she was scared about getting shot a lot, especially in the head. I reassured her that with all the protective gear it was unlikely. First round, within a minute, she gets shot 3 times in the back of the head. FML
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML
Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML
Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went shooting. While I was showing him how to properly hold and adjust a rifle, he accidentally pulled the trigger. The gun kicked back and hit me in the face, breaking my nose. FML
Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML
Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML
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Top comments
stunty_fml 0
Friendly fire? Isn't.
emer_helena 0
I love how you dont say that you shot her by accident
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Comments (183)
QiScorpion 0
OP... weren't you wearing gloves? because you can get gloves with padding on the fingers AFAIK. even without gloves, you'd have to literally have the gun 2mm away from her finger to break it. That, or she has some form of osteoperosis (not sure if that's spelled properly) in which case, AFAIK, she shouldn't be paintballing anyway. #35: well said. #13 and all the others screaming that the OP is a sexist pig: i appreciate that women don't necessarily like men who are all macho and manly, but have you considered that his girlfriend may have ASKED him to do so? I know i would've done if i were a girl - paintballing hurts. Not THAT much (it's not much more than a sharp sting followed by dull bruise pain depending both on where you get hit - the neck hurts most - and how close the shooter was to you), but the girls i know, most of whom are strong and independent and on a perfectly equal par with men when it comes to most things, would ask to be protected when paintballing.
Rainbow_Monkey 0
Ooh, my hero! Hopefully it wasn't her shooting finger you broke. She needs a chance to avenge herself! :P
QiScorpion 0
oh and #37, what #35 hardly counts as a POLITICAL comment. it's a social comment more than anything else.
AUT_student 0
Oh, and read here for an example of chivalry that the feminazis haven't harassed yet....I guess when the GUY gets damaged helping the LADY, it's not sexist anymore???? http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/2267588
Klee999 0
You meant well : )
lmmmr 0
I am a feminist, and not even remotely ashamed to say so. That being said, what the OP did is not even remotely sexist. His chivalry was an expression of his respect for his girlfriend, not an expression of her incapabilities or inferiority. If he had actually claimed that he was protecting her because she was incapable of taking care of herself, yes, that would be sexist. But he did not. Yes, what he did was arrogant and macho and he justified it in an unattractively arrogant and macho way, but he did it with the best of intentions. #13 and 14, if you are interested in feminism, good for you, but I suggest you research some of the actual issues women face. Ones more important than a guy wanting to show off for his girlfriend. However, a lot of your comments are disgustingly sexist. So if you please, STFU. You do not know "women" and you are not qualified to determine what they do, do not, should or should not do.
Gavik 0
So do they even bother to check PSI at this place? A paintball gun shouldn't be able to break bones even at point blank range.
perstephane 4
#32 - feminist does not equal lesbian. Yes, 13 seems to be what I like to call a Feminazi - someone who wants women to be goddesses at the expense of men. I consider myself a feminist - someone who believes that a woman should do what makes her happy. You know what makes me happy? Both being able to take care of myself AND when my boyfriend is protective. There is a middle ground between rambo-women and fainting bimbos.
lmmmr 0
"My girlfriend and I..."
ZEROGage 0
I really don't have anything to say as there are only so many ways to tell you that you're a moron.