Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went paint-balling with my girlfriend. As we drove she was scared about getting shot a lot, especially in the head. I reassured her that with all the protective gear it was unlikely. First round, within a minute, she gets shot 3 times in the back of the head. FML
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML
Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML
Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went shooting. While I was showing him how to properly hold and adjust a rifle, he accidentally pulled the trigger. The gun kicked back and hit me in the face, breaking my nose. FML
Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML
Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML
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Top comments
stunty_fml 0
Friendly fire? Isn't.
emer_helena 0
I love how you dont say that you shot her by accident
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Comments (183)
ddrluna 2
I also disagree with 13. You crazy feminist bitches need to realize that the majority of women do not agree with your beliefs that men are somehow inferior now. I like it when my husband 'protects' me from things. It's a NICE feeling. Doubt you'll ever experience that sort of thing from your lesbian partner.
freber120 0
she must be pissed... howd you do it? accidental or tryin to be funny?
Maango 0
how many fps were u shooting, unless ur really close and shooting at like more than 300 fps it shuldnt break
Diosjenin 0
#13, 14: Okay. Since you obviously have no conception of how the mind of any half-chivalrous guy works, let's set something straight. As women who describe themselves as "strong" and "independent" and who claim chivalrous behavior to be "sexist," you would do well to remember this: complaining about chivalrous activity is BY FAR the most effective way of ensuring that you will NEVER be able to hold down a steady relationship with a nice, considerate guy. In fact, the "big, macho, manly guys" that you claim to hate so much will be the only ones that will ever be willing to put up with that. They will not open doors for you, they will not give you flowers, and no, they will not volunteer to "protect you" in a paintball match. Do you honestly think it's because they respect how "strong" and "independent" you are? Sorry, but that's bullshit. It's because *they don't really care about you.* Period. I have never known ANY guy who opened a door for a girl do so because he honestly thought she was weak or couldn't get the door for herself. If you've ever known a single guy who actually believed that, feel free to give me his name and address and I'll be glad to introduce his face to a tire iron. But I know full well you won't be able to, because that kind of guy does not exist. Guys don't act chivalrous because they genuinely think that you can't get by in life without them. They act chivalrous because they enjoy being providers. It's a difficult feeling to convey, primarily because chivalry in those forms aren't generally reciprocated identically by women, but rest assured there is nothing quite like doing something kind for a woman and seeing her smile that adorable, shy smile - the one that we know is reserved just for us. But if you want to think of that as sexist, by all means, continue to delude yourselves. Maybe pick up some stuff by Germaine Greer while you're at it.
Tehalon 0
Wise words Diosjenin, well spoken!
newguy12 0
why did u shoot her? stfu 35, nobody comes on this site for political opinions and what not
genius_man16 1
#35 Thank you. You are the epic win sir.
mikedabs28 0
well put 35. 37, you're a prick
katie_bby 0
well, paintballs hurtttttt so the theory that one COULDn'T break your finger is out of the question, and if she loves you, she'll understand it was an accident :D at least you didn't shoot her eye out. and for all of you screaming sexist, he probably didn't even realize he was making a sexist comment by saying "trying to be all manly and protect her".
Capn 0
@ OP: Safety on at ALL times before the 3, 2, 1, GO. Barrel bag on any time before that. No exceptions. As the few paintball players on here have already said, the sport is NOT THAT BAD. Poor, unsafe practices such as your are what bring the sport to its low standards and scare many potential good players away. However, be kind and take care of your lady. As long as it was an accident and she is caring she'll forgive you as long as you're by her side throughout this. Opposed to #13, you CAN pamper her for a while; she'll enjoy it and will take it as a deep apology for what you did.