Today, knowing that the girl I broke up with last night goes crazy after breakups, I threw away my hair products, thinking she switched them with Nair. She didn't... but she did use the key I keep under a flowerpot to take all of my clothes and burn them on my lawn while I was at work. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after two months of being broken up, and my ex still insisting she hadn't been cheating on me, I declared via text my intention to burn the rest of her stuff in the yard. This resulted in the guy she "hadn't been cheating on me with" kicking in my door. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML
Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me and set all my stuff on fire. Why? Because she found my Tinder account. I haven’t even used it since I met her. FML
Today, my girlfriend did the whole "break up with your boyfriend and kick him out of the house" thing from the movies. Except it's my house. She kept my stuff. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML
Today, I went through the stuff that I'd left at my ex’s place and started unpacking it. I found a pair of another girl's panties. We broke up a little over a week ago. FML
Today, I got home and found all my things thrown out into the yard, including the stuff from my mancave, which I spent thousands of dollars on. Apparently, my girlfriend stopped for a visit while my wife was home. I’d stupidly given her a key. Turns out my wife called out sick today. FML
Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML
Today, as soon as I got home, my girlfriend was waiting for me at the door. She told me she was breaking up with me. The reason? She found a girl's shirt in my closet and that she didn't need a cheating boyfriend. That shirt was mine. FML
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Top comments
WTFKuro 0
If you're going to keep a key under a flowerpot, you might as well keep your door unlocked. If a burglar wants to get into your house, the first thing he's going to do is check under flowerpots for keys.
ireply_w_lyrics 0
"...Well I started throwin' things and I scared folks half to death I got up in his face and smelled whiskey on his breath Didn't give a second thought to being thrown in jail Cause baby to hammer everything looks like a nail And I was mad as hell Well those pretty girls their all the same But their damn well gonna know my name I'm a crazy Ex-Girlfriend I'm a crazy Ex-Girlfriend I'm a crazy Ex-Girlfriend..." Anyone want to say this doesn't relate to the FML?
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Comments (156)
FaithX 0
I gave you FYL because seriously, that sucks. But you also got a YDI because - well, under the flowerpot? Seriously???? You might as well have a big neon sign over an open door saying "TAKE ALL MY STUFF!!! I WANT YOU TO HAVE IT!!" Having it there at all is b ad enough, but not even thinking to remove it after breaking up with a you clearly knew was capable of crazy shit - that's just dumb.
revolver6 0
you should prosecute. seriously. there is a law broken in there somewhere. that'll fix her wagon.
go_rangers 0
My only problem with suing her is that you have to PROVE, beyond a reasonable doubt, that she did this. "She's a psycho" "I just broke up with her" "etc." are all circumstantial pieces of evidence... won't be enough to win you a case. Did she leave a note, do you have it on camera, or are there any witnesses?
thelorax 0
don't date someone you KNOW is crazy then be surprised when they act all crazy, YDI seriously people having a relationship is a privilege, not a right
caancoha 0
SOUNDS LIKE MY EX! :D Are you a lesbian? 'Cause I think we dated the same chick.
jessxoxo28 5
wow... she burned all ur clothes... well that means shopping :D btw- y would u date a girl who goes crazy after breakups? did u think u would be with her 4 ever or something? seriously, that was a stupid move.
equastriangirl 0
this pretty much sounds fake but if it isnt then you should really have moved the key after you broke up
FSBull 0
Never date anyone crazier than you are...Steve McNair good example.
hi_from_HI 0
Definitely stop by and see the cops, only because you're implying she's always like that. She should finally get that slap she needs to understand that she can not do that shit. What will she do to the next guy???
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Trespassing, theft and arson. I sure hope you called the police. No one should be able to pull crap like that and get away with it. Especially for a break up!!