Today, after two months of being broken up, and my ex still insisting she hadn't been cheating on me, I declared via text my intention to burn the rest of her stuff in the yard. This resulted in the guy she "hadn't been cheating on me with" kicking in my door. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my ex threatened to not return my things that she still has. She even went on to say she will burn them, because she hates me and I "broke her heart". Not only has it been over half a year since we broke up, but she was the one who broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML
Today, my girlfriend did the whole "break up with your boyfriend and kick him out of the house" thing from the movies. Except it's my house. She kept my stuff. FML
Today, I was attempting to trash my cheating boyfriend’s house. While I was pouring gasoline all over his belongings, he decided to come home early with the little homewrecker. FML
Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML
Today, I went to my ex-girlfriend's house to bring her her stuff back. We broke up earlier this week after a two year relationship, and I'd hoped she would've realized her mistake and ask me to stay for a bit and talk. I rang the doorbell and her new boyfriend opened the door. FML
Today, my house was set on fire, courtesy of my ex-girlfriend, who found out that I have a new girlfriend. Most of our belongings are now reduced to ashes. FML
Today, knowing that the girl I broke up with last night goes crazy after breakups, I threw away my hair products, thinking she switched them with Nair. She didn't... but she did use the key I keep under a flowerpot to take all of my clothes and burn them on my lawn while I was at work. FML
Today, I found my now ex was cheating on me, after two years. and planning on leaving me with all the bills and the lease to the new place I'd got with her. She still wants house keys. FML
Today, my cheating, psycho asscricket of an ex texted me and asked me back out. I said no, and didn't think any more of it, at least until an hour later, when I looked out my window, only to see him smearing a bag of dog crap all over my porch. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
You shouldn't have been burning her stuff. Just give it back to her and move on with your life.
slhiggx 17
Not your things to burn. And you don’t know the context of their relationship.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (6)
slhiggx 17
Not your things to burn. And you don’t know the context of their relationship.
SirEnigM0nk 22
Still doesn't justify kicking in the door, trespassing, etc.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
You shouldn't have been burning her stuff. Just give it back to her and move on with your life.
Charlie Given 28
yeah it's bullshit like that from crazy lying ***** is the reason I just went out and bought a handgun, you should probably think about getting a weapon for yourself so next time somebody tries to kick in your door you can blow their ******* head off.
Jon Tessler 14
hope you called the cops and got him arrested for it. now she cheated on you with a criminal. you are better off without her.
Chris Medforth 7
So you threatening to burn her stuff and someone coming to defend her n her stuff shows cheating...? , I think she's the lucky one to have gotten away from you
SirEnigM0nk 22
After breaking up with someone, give them a chance to reclaim their gear. But depending on where you live, you *may* eventually be able to claim it as your own if it sits on your property long enough. At any rate, that doesn't justify assault.