Today, knowing that the girl I broke up with last night goes crazy after breakups, I threw away my hair products, thinking she switched them with Nair. She didn't... but she did use the key I keep under a flowerpot to take all of my clothes and burn them on my lawn while I was at work. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after two months of being broken up, and my ex still insisting she hadn't been cheating on me, I declared via text my intention to burn the rest of her stuff in the yard. This resulted in the guy she "hadn't been cheating on me with" kicking in my door. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML
Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me and set all my stuff on fire. Why? Because she found my Tinder account. I haven’t even used it since I met her. FML
Today, my girlfriend did the whole "break up with your boyfriend and kick him out of the house" thing from the movies. Except it's my house. She kept my stuff. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML
Today, I went through the stuff that I'd left at my ex’s place and started unpacking it. I found a pair of another girl's panties. We broke up a little over a week ago. FML
Today, I got home and found all my things thrown out into the yard, including the stuff from my mancave, which I spent thousands of dollars on. Apparently, my girlfriend stopped for a visit while my wife was home. I’d stupidly given her a key. Turns out my wife called out sick today. FML
Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML
Today, as soon as I got home, my girlfriend was waiting for me at the door. She told me she was breaking up with me. The reason? She found a girl's shirt in my closet and that she didn't need a cheating boyfriend. That shirt was mine. FML
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Top comments
WTFKuro 0
If you're going to keep a key under a flowerpot, you might as well keep your door unlocked. If a burglar wants to get into your house, the first thing he's going to do is check under flowerpots for keys.
ireply_w_lyrics 0
"...Well I started throwin' things and I scared folks half to death I got up in his face and smelled whiskey on his breath Didn't give a second thought to being thrown in jail Cause baby to hammer everything looks like a nail And I was mad as hell Well those pretty girls their all the same But their damn well gonna know my name I'm a crazy Ex-Girlfriend I'm a crazy Ex-Girlfriend I'm a crazy Ex-Girlfriend..." Anyone want to say this doesn't relate to the FML?
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Comments (156)
Vaetrus 0
"Emotionally Unstable. Case dismissed." So many things wrong. YDI for having a spare key by the entrance like that. YDI for not breaking up with her more smoothly, or get her to break up with you. And YDI for dating a girl with crazy eyes. You can see it in her eyes man!
Wanton_Rhapsody 0
What soft suggestions from females, pimpin? Most people have been suggesting that he press charges, etc. Yet you go with the much ?harder? option of asking her to pay for things and if she won't, THEN going to the cops? That didn't even make any sense. I say FYL because that's just sucktastic. No one deserves that kind of insanity. Although, it isn't the brightest to leave a key under a flowerpot, especially after a break-up, and definitely don't date the crazy ones. When you do that, you're begging for trouble. Also, people who "go crazy after break-ups" are just crazy. Period. They merely hide it better while in a relationship.
movies12 0
Hell I would call the cops and say there is this crazy women staking me, and breaking into my house and burning my cloth.
wordgirl 0
She didn't burn all his cloth. It was only the ones that were cut and sewn together to form clothes.
AcesAndEights 0
lmao
Zapurdead 3
YDI for keeping a key under your plant pot. If you're gonna hide your key someone, at least put it somewhere hard to find, like INSIDE the plant pot.
letitbe56 0
If you knew she was like this, why did you date her?
teiso_fml 0
At least you've got her out of your life, now! Hopefully it'll be worth it for that.
TriniRockStar 0
why did you date her in the first place
triplethreat13 0
FYL for dating a psycho. nobody does the nair trick anymore though. but if they know where your spare key is, they'll use it against you somehow! always switch the hiding spot after something like that.
Green12324 0
FYl for dating her
Doogragoo 0
Sue her? Its not like you gave her a key, she used one to break in which means its breaking and entering PLUS you can take her to civil court for the cost of the cloths and changed locks.