Today, my boyfriend came over and dropped off my phone, which I'd left at his place the night before. He immediately left in a sulk. As I looked through my texts, I discovered he was only so moody because I hadn't answered any of his calls or messages. I'm dating an idiot. FML

Don't care

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I called him about two minutes after, and he'd already fallen asleep. FML

Clumsy ass

Today, I went to give my boyfriend a hug and accidentally knocked his brand new phone out of his hand. The screen was broken. FML

Riverdale is a lie

Today, I called my boyfriend at 2 a.m., telling him I couldn't sleep. He replied, "Well, I can," and hung up. FML

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML

Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend. I called him and started yelling at him over the phone. He told me that if I wanted to end the relationship I should just hang up the phone right then. Before I could say I still love him and don't want to break up, my phone battery died. FML

Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML

Today, after my boyfriend ignored me for hours playing video games, he gave me some attention for a little bit. When I tried to run my fingers through his hair, I missed and punched him in the face. FML

Today, my boyfriend elbowed me in the eye while we were sleeping. His excuse: "You shouldn't have stayed over." FML

Today, at four in the morning, I was asleep with my boyfriend beside me. I started yelling at him in my sleep and broke up with him. When I woke up, he was gone. FML