Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today, I was getting one of the best blow jobs I have ever received. My girlfriend was getting into it when I heard an "uh oh". Her tongue ring got twisted around the hair close to my balls. She started to pull, I started to scream. FML
Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML
Today, halfway through a blowjob, my girlfriend bit my penis because she suddenly decided that she was still annoyed at me for an argument we had last week. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
It's that small?
kimmi41509 10
Well at least you know she gives amazing ******** effortlessly, since it's obvious her mind was elsewhere.
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Comments (143)
perdix 31
That would make it even more amazing. Grab her ears like handles and finish off like a champ!
gracehi 33
Okay, perdix, I get that you're joking, as you always are, but rape isn't funny. If that's all you could come up with for this one you should have just not commented.
supportcommand 17
Tell her to finish the job or she'll have a real reason to cry... From a eye poke of course.
oj101 33
That blows..
LoveGuru69 0
I know. OP must be such a dick
evilvagina 9
Maybe she hit a big deposit of extra mature **** cheese and the overwhelming joy made her cry?
murphdarkly 13
Smegma, it's called smegma, lol.
sidneypaulson99 4
No.. Its not...
murphdarkly 13
Maybe she learned to do it well early in life n had a flashback of doing that for her uncle/stepdad/brother/dad/etc....
Welshite 40
That would indicate that she was a victim of rape as a child, which is no laughing matter. Those women are haunted by those experiences for the rest of their lives.
gracehi 33
I agree with you, welshite, although murphdarkly may actually be right, yet I can't tell if he's trying to be funny or not.
Welshite 40
Eh, I originally read it as an attempt to be funny, and then went back and reread it. It does make a little sense if you read it a certain way. An unclear comment + personal experience with such women + one exhausted Welshite = an indignant response.
Face_Palm46 0
Oh no! Fyl man that's terrible
The_F3rris 11
Shouldn't the welfare of your girlfriend be more important to you than the grand finally of a *******?
Negroification 7
Either you're a woman, or you've never had a *******. Either way, you wouldn't understand.
ultra_notorious 26
Well, at least she didn't bite down!
AngelSpit 18
"A lap dance is always better when the stripper is crying."
furbyface711 9
That made me laugh harder then the OP. Blood Hound Gang always makes a situation better haha
deequu 20
I don't understand why you didn't notice she was upset lol