Today, I was getting one of the best blow jobs I have ever received. My girlfriend was getting into it when I heard an "uh oh". Her tongue ring got twisted around the hair close to my balls. She started to pull, I started to scream. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
Today, my girlfriend offered a blow job, but my hair got stuck in her braces so instead we tried to pull them all out. And no, I didn't get any. FML
Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML
Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky when we decide to try the old 69. One thing leads to another when her clit ring went deep into my nose, and leaving me feeling like the wrong kind of bull. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were doing the deed when she suddenly said, "Hold on babe, I think my nose ring fell out." After she couldn't find it for a minute, she said, "I'm sure it's on the bed somewhere." Immediately after that, she yelled, "OH MY GOD, I JUST SWALLOWED IT." FML
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Top comments
Clapdaddy 16
Shave. Problem solved, never worry about it again.
manb91uk 22
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Comments (17)
user53658 15
Same thing happend when I gave my girlfriend head. Good thing is, she's now finally considering shaving.
chubbear 14
Gave her "head"? Does she have a dick too?
Arashikage 18
Giving head can apply for both men and women, kid
Clapdaddy 16
Shave. Problem solved, never worry about it again.
Dave_Davington 34
Are you kidding? Small, sharp metal objects near his yoghurt artillery is exactly why he's in this situation in the first place.
Wintermelons 19
What the ****
RichardPencil 32
Waxing down there wouldn’t be a good idea for you.
Nikki_Lattimore 8
This would be a horrible thjng to say (let alone read) if it wasn't so ******* funny). Hahaha
snailsinyourtea 15
I’d recommend waxing but then again that’s how it feels like.
manb91uk 22
Glowworm56 27
If 911 had to be called, I would have loved to hear or read the transcript for that one!
Glitterbaby2613 20
look up youtube video called "911 call about a man getting bottle stuck up his ass" I promise you won't be disappointed 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
sumocj 14
This is an fml for both of you. She has to deal with your harry balls
Mungolikecandy 19
Manscaping, a friend to one and all.
GIJoefan 6
Exactly!
Krystal Marie 1
Maybe if you manscaped this wouldn't have happened.
Zeatha Mistron 7
Manscaping