44haley44
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Bad timing
Today, I was pantsless, horny, and my vibrator died, so I put it on charge next to my bed. My mum then came in, crying hysterically about how she got fired. I was still naked. I felt so bad. FML
Lonely
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML
Handblocked
🌶️ Spicy
Overcome
Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor's appointment in the morning. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
How very dare you?
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Alexa, play "Asleep" by The Smiths
Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML
Embarassed
Canada
Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML
thermos
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Morning motivation
Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML
Anonymous
Altamonte Springs, United States 🌶️ Spicy
That was quick
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
hannahthedino
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Involuntary
Today, my friend spent the night. I now know that she masturbates in her sleep. FML
Ned
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML
Top comments
kraine0712 2
Wow poor vibrator. This should be the vibrators FML. Today, some chick was using me and it was going really well. Then she fell asleep with me still running, now my batteries are dead. I have a job interview tomorrow. FML.
ayooBrandon 12
I can't imagine how wet your sheets are
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Comments (595)
Aryan_Sheen 0
hey, if you're a guy it's way worse.
Salvikidd 6
did you had a wet dream?
Bloothebawss 9
Ew. I hope you don't have anybody living with you that could've walked in on that. Creepy.
commietaco 0
O.M.G it's blue. blue blue blue blue blue blue not green. close to navy. fosters home for imaginary friends. hot in topeka. second coolest character next to cheese. BLUE IS IN THE BUILDING!!!!
Strolling 0
246 - His name is spelled Bloo...
commietaco 0
can't I just dream without being criticized by the cruel world within FML?!? no? ok no problem.
lmaoatall 6
I don't know why, but the first thing I thought of when I read this post was the folgers coffee jingle.... the best part of waking up is a ***** in my cu.... wait a minute, I maybe onto something for my work at the ***** factory. thanx op. I smell a raise!!!!!
howslife123 0
well you know what we smell
DrewsFML 8
Coffee, vibrator, they both give you a buzz in the morning.
Daederoth 10
Maybe you should upgrade to one of those drilldo's. It must not be a very stimulating vibrator if it put you to sleep. Just an idea.
shaala_fml 0
I gusse it was not that good if you fell asleep lol(:
Soreeyeah 17
multiple ******, right on!!!!!
Zebidee 9
What brand batteries do you use?
Jmiah 2
that's great hahaha wow
CockieMonster 0
Lol the awesome boners posts twice and gets into the positive for both, others post twice and they get the 'hidden due to votes' message lol boners you rock