NSFW: Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I...

44haley44 12 July 2011, 17:25 United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

595 comments

Collection

Fall

Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.

Same thing different taste

Anonymous 21 April 2022, 00:01 Australia 🌶️ Spicy

Bad timing

Today, I was pantsless, horny, and my vibrator died, so I put it on charge next to my bed. My mum then came in, crying hysterically about how she got fired. I was still naked. I felt so bad. FML

3 comments

Lonely 2 January 2010, 10:30 United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML

66 comments

Handblocked 4 September 2018, 06:00 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor's appointment in the morning. FML

15 comments

Anonymous 14 May 2019, 06:00 🌶️ Spicy

How very dare you?

Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML

11 comments

Anonymous 1 October 2019, 12:00 🌶️ Spicy

Alexa, play "Asleep" by The Smiths

Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML

4 comments

Embarassed 10 September 2009, 05:32 Canada

Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML

121 comments

thermos 3 February 2009, 23:47 United States 🌶️ Spicy

Morning motivation

Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML

62 comments

Anonymous 9 September 2012, 12:03 Altamonte Springs, United States 🌶️ Spicy

That was quick

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

155 comments

hannahthedino 20 July 2021, 04:01 United States 🌶️ Spicy

Involuntary

Today, my friend spent the night. I now know that she masturbates in her sleep. FML

2 comments

Ned 29 August 2009, 23:36 United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML

141 comments

kraine0712 2

13 July 2011, 01:11

Wow poor vibrator. This should be the vibrators FML. Today, some chick was using me and it was going really well. Then she fell asleep with me still running, now my batteries are dead. I have a job interview tomorrow. FML.

ayooBrandon 12

13 July 2011, 00:07

I can't imagine how wet your sheets are

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Comments (595)

TheCountess 4

13 July 2011, 00:08

It must not be a very good vibrator if you were able to sleep through it. Get a refund.

HannahForbesxo 13

13 July 2011, 00:15

The shop could sell it again if she got it refunded. Second-hand vibrator.

Julieissocool 0

13 July 2011, 00:36

I can imagine it being relaxing so it's understandable if she falls asleep

mog85 0

13 July 2011, 01:44

sometimes we can't understand natures HUGE questions lol

goshpeople 4

13 July 2011, 02:14

If it wasn't vibrating on the OP's crotch or genital area, I'd imagine it'd just feel like a gentle massager. With a soft hum of accompanying sound. Relaxing, indeed.