Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been flirting with for months. Immediately after, he gave me the "let's just be friends" speech then left for work, accidentally locking me in his apartment. I had to call his ex-girlfriend to come let me out. She smirked. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to meet a guy that i had already started to be involved with at a bar. We laughed, kissed and had a great time, until he admitted he was just doing all of this to make his ex-girlfriend jealous. Guess who was waiting for me outside. FML
Today, I finally had sex with a coworker I’d been flirting with for nearly 2 and half years. The sex lasted less than 2 and a half minutes. FML
Today, I had sex with a coworker I've had my eye on for awhile. Immediately after, he turned on the light and got on his phone. Me, trying to start a conversation, I said, "Well, that was fun." He looked at me and said, "Was it?" FML
Today, after months of hardcore flirting with this incredibly attractive guy, he invited me to hang out. At which point he introduced me to his boyfriend. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML
Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML
Today, after months of Tinder-ing, first dates and being rejected, I finally was able to hook up with a girl. We met, we kissed, we danced and I took her back to my place. She then promptly tried to make out with my roommate. FML
Today, I made out with a handsome man in the restroom at a party. There was a knock on the door, interrupting us. It was his girlfriend. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I lost my virginity to a few months ago was actually in a relationship the whole time. How did I find this out? His now ex-girlfriend called to yell at me. FML
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Top comments
sxe_beast 11
Wait, how do you get locked IN an apartment? Isn't the point of a door and lock to keep people OUT?
ktsthrlnd 3
kinda creepy how his ex still has a key...and that you know she does...and that you know her....hmmm
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Comments (30)
youngbuck10 9
What a dick. Was it worth the months of flirting for op?
quade25 0
haha proplly if he can get 2 easy
Drigr 9
still wondering how you get locked IN a house..
enonymous 9
Flirting being farting in the guys hand few months ago. then later after getting she fell asleep with the vibrator in her still.
ktsthrlnd 3
kinda creepy how his ex still has a key...and that you know she does...and that you know her....hmmm
tyty22796 0
haha so true
OWNZ 0
Thats not creepy at all :D
KiddNYC1O 22
It's a twisted love affair.
agentx52 13
This FML is obviously fake. You can't get locked IN an apartment.
JoanT 11
My front door knob has broken twice I had to remove it once and climb out a window the second time it is actually possible
soad4life 2
how the hell do you get locked in?!?
thatonename 7
just a theory here. a door with nothing but a deadbolt style that you need to be outside to lock. she can get out but can not re-lock the door? of course none of that should matter after getting the "let's just be friends" line, but maybe op is still hopeful for a relationship? complete conjecture, poke as many holes as you'd like.
sxe_beast 11
Wait, how do you get locked IN an apartment? Isn't the point of a door and lock to keep people OUT?
Chazzymine 0
they have deadbolts that have to be locked and unlocked on both sides.
lmaoatall 6
I'm confused too!
flavboarder 9
why would they have locks on the outside of a door
sxe_beast 11
@29, that makes sense I guess. Its kind of creepy though.
sgtrobswifey 0
I'm confused.. he locked you, "in" his apartment??
ayooBrandon 12
me too I thought you could only be locked "out" not locked "in"
sourgirl101 29
Deadbolt! Oh yes you can! Every home I lived in has iron bars too, so no breaking a window to get off either.
alex6946 10
KaySL you are very smart!
ayooBrandon 12
so the lock is outside the apartment?
HannahForbesxo 13
You should crap in his kettle or something as a nice goodbye present.
johnson94 5
I don't think it is odd at all that you thought to do that.. haha
HannahForbesxo 13
Kevin Bridges reference? I guess hardly anyone will know since he's a Glaswegian comedian.
Person1233 13
YDI for your second sentence. It was poorly written.
bmboente15 0
you both are retarded. him for locking it and you for not being able to get out
Nerry_fml 0
am I the only one that finds it creepy that this guy can lock women in his apartment?