Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor's appointment in the morning. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML
Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was then that I found out my mom uses the same vibrator as I do. FML
Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
Today, I got home from my vacation. The last few days of my trip, I stayed at my father's house. I was having trouble sleeping last night so I decided to use a little "discreet" vibrator that I travel with. When I unpacked back home, I realized I'd forgotten the vibrator in my bed at my father's house. I'm mortified. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, I was pantsless, horny, and my vibrator died, so I put it on charge next to my bed. My mum then came in, crying hysterically about how she got fired. I was still naked. I felt so bad. FML
Today, at work, my vibrator rolled out of my bag so far down the table that I couldn’t catch it, and had to run round the table to grab it by leaning between two of my male coworkers. That vibrator lives under my bed, so the only way it could've got in my work bag would be my boyfriend pranking me. FML
Today, my Nana asked me to get her a book from her nightstand, but failed to specify which nightstand was hers. I stumbled across my grandparents' collection of sex toys instead. FML
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Top comments
Leeono 26
Talk about a buzz kill.
Sinshine 28
That's just rude of her. At least call before inviting yourself over. And ******* ring the doorbell instead of just walking into a place you don't own.
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Comments (15)
Leeono 26
Talk about a buzz kill.
blightsight 10
hah. buzz
Sinshine 28
That's just rude of her. At least call before inviting yourself over. And ******* ring the doorbell instead of just walking into a place you don't own.
_Hakuna_Matata_ 12
Grandma - 1 Vibrator - 0
RichardPencil 32
Too bad you cheaped out and didn’t buy the ball gag Amazon recommended with your purchase. You could have gone to town after the old gal dozed off.
Charlie Given 28
Lol I bet grandma has a bigger one 🤣🤣😂
FuNiErside 7
Didn't know you could **** block a vibrator.
FuNiErside 7
If you feel bad just think how your vibrator feels. just got **** blocked by g-ma.
skippydoda 32
if you don't live alone, then you need to do that in your bedroom... ALWAYS
julfunky 29
It sounds like she DOES live alone.
Zekfen 17
Was it a rabbit you raced home with? Looks like the tortoise won this race.
tounces7 28
Why was your door not locked? Do you live in Canada?
raven_of_azarath 35
Maybe Grandma had a key? When I moved out, I gave my closest relative a key to my place just in case anything happened.