Today, my little brother discovered that bears can be very territorial and will pee on things to keep others away. He took this new found information to heart and peed on various things in the house that he wanted for himself, including my laptop. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my sister's kitten walked away from his litter box, jumped onto the table, looked me dead in the eyes, then peed directly onto my laptop. FML
Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML
Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML
Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML
Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML
Today, my brother’s cat pissed on my brand new bed. He refuses to replace the mattress, and claims it wasn’t his cat. We only have one cat. FML
Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML
Today, my baby brother learned to remove his nappy. He immediately used this new skill to shit all over my room. FML
Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML
Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
That's a smart little brother you have there. Now start peeing on his favourite toys and see how he likes that.
macskapingvin 0
Do the kindest thing. Tranquilise this poor lost animal and set him loose in the forest where he belongs.
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Comments (82)
Bishop181 0
shoot him!
waswashere 0
a fist should suffice
rallets 23
just marking his territory man, finders keepers
rebel408 0
308 to the head
QwertyMcNugget 0
Joke's on him. The laptop will no longer work now,
BlackOpsPWNR 0
pee on him, then it will be you owning him and he will do what you want and don't want. including not to pee on laptops
xxxJORDYBEARxxx 0
that won't solve anything...
therealdavid 0
It'll solve who's laptop it is;)
ImNinja 0
lol ^ win
urdirtyolduncle 15
gf
Doortje 30
That's a smart little brother you have there. Now start peeing on his favourite toys and see how he likes that.
livefreeorFYL 0
lmao! now that's a win
ljr1094 7
true dat!!
rohanp 0
I bet that pissed you off!
that1guyyy 12
he was making a pun
rallets 23
its better to be pissed off than pissed on
meikaze 9
I agree with #38
macskapingvin 0
Do the kindest thing. Tranquilise this poor lost animal and set him loose in the forest where he belongs.
sweetstuffFML 1
xD yup, why not? lol
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
Or you could just euthanize him.
yeppers6502 0
shut. up. please.
UpsidedownKayak 9
You know dogs also pee on things to mark their territory. Maybe, you should treat you brother like a dog that pees inside and stick his nose in it.
charllotttee 3
hahah I second that idea
aback 5
Shock collar.
bellaec825 4
lol :D
barberton21 0
shock collar AND stick his nose in it
newjerseyguy 0
lmfao classic. id still kick his ass though
Puppyface171 0
Ha, dumbass brother.
KVKdragon 26
if I were you, I would hit him, hard. screw being punished, technology shouldn't not be treated that way at all and your little brother should be smarter than that >:(