Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML
Today, my one year-old took his diaper off and peed on my chest while I was sleeping. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were changing our newborn son when he peed on her, making me lose it laughing. Less than five seconds later, as I picked him up to clean him off, he did a huge poop, all over my hands, arms, feet, and clothes. Instant Karma. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML
Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML
Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML
Today, I woke up to my lovely 16-month old with her diaper on. When I stood up to retrieve and toss it, I also realized she'd pooped into her hand and thrown a log onto the middle of the floor. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
Oh, how it shot from his member like a geyser from the earth Covering the room with the bittersweet aroma of piss The drip on the walls, it running down his balls Oh the majestic beauty, splendor precipitating
Florg 0
lol he painted the room yellow, a perfect baby color.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (151)
FTFL 0
this sounds more like a MLIA submission. it's funny :D
soccerfreak009 0
that IS funny
NatalieForRizzle 0
Lmao. I'm sorry, this isn't an FML. This is ******* funny. If my child did that, I'd laugh with him. xD It's kinda cuteee.
ClumsyJason 3
Lmfaoo.
bluedoll 1
How is this an FML? Here is the thing: Kids play with themselves. It is something new and it is funny. My nephew made his make sounds whenever he touched it. Urine is sterile. It smells, but it can be cleaned. Welcome to parenthood, buy bleach and keep the kid in another room. And if you weren't ready for this, too f*ckin late. You have to be prepared. For those who say he'll do worse, you're right. But by then at least they try to hide the evidence somewhat.
whyohwhyohwhy 0
exactly, may i recommend zip up pj's, my boy is 2.5 and still in them because, to him, that pesky diaper is in the way of his "new toy" during the night.
SmilesAlotXD 0
the older u get the funnier it is
gothymama 0
haha! At least it wasn't poop!
DameGreyWulf 1
anal stage
falalalalala 0
at least you have a son
pog0_fml 0
and he was right!
ziqi92 0
that is hysterical. at this age, babies r still exploring the wonders of being able to control their own body.